Title: This could be controversial...
Wickywhite - May 11, 2007 02:23 PM (GMT)
Being a parent I have a huge amount of sympathy for the parents of Madeleine McCann. They must be out of their minds with worry over what has become of her. I sincerely hope that she is found alive and well soon.
BUT have I missed something? Why did they leave her and their twin babies alone in the apartment? I worry about leaving my 3 in a room at the Novotel while I sit in the hotel bar, but mine are much older. I know that they're probably torturing themselves over the very same question, but why do something like that in a place you don't know well, when you'd be locked up for doing it in the UK?
Rich - May 11, 2007 02:42 PM (GMT)
I bet a lot of parents have asked the same Wicky especially with the kids being so young. Me and Louise have certainly mentioned it.
When you're on holiday though you're more relaxed, everyone's friendly and your guard drops a bit I suppose. I guess with them doing regular checks and only being 50 yards away the possibilty of anything like this happening never entered thier heads.
Like you say they must be torturing themselves to insanity with why's and what if's.
I really hope there's a happy ending to this but I very much doubt there will be.
Wickywhite - May 11, 2007 02:47 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Rich @ May 11 2007, 02:42 PM) |
guess with them doing regular checks and only being 50 yards away the possibilty of anything like this happening never entered thier heads. |
That's what I'm thinking. They were probably checking on them to make sure they were sleeping OK,as no one ever thinks this sort of thing would happen. I'm just amazed at the ages of the children. Col and I won't be letting Cerys out of our sight when we go to France in a couple of weeks. I'll be watching the other two like a hawk as well.
Rich - May 11, 2007 02:52 PM (GMT)
When our kids were that young we would have eaten earlier and then sat on the balcony or patio drinking while they were asleep inside.
It make you wonder if Maddy has been targeted and with the apartment being on the ground floor it's been a doddle for the abductor(s) to do the job.
I'm sure most parents will think twice about doing something similar from now on.
cuppy - May 11, 2007 02:54 PM (GMT)
Yeah said the same thing to Ian, I would never leave any children of mine alone like that. My hearts go out to the parents, and I really really hope they find her safe and well, but similar abduction cases tell you the longer the child remains missing the less likely she is to be returned safe. You just never think it could happen to your own children I guess, and sometimes it leads to complaceny. But really in this day and age you just can't be too protective over your little uns, or even your older ones come to think of it.
Milgod - May 11, 2007 03:04 PM (GMT)
I was going to put a thread up about this today as well. Thought it would be best to leave it a week before I did. My heart goes out to the parents and I don't wish to imagine how they must feel right now. However, leaving a three year old alone with two younger children blows my mind. Even more than that though was the fact that last Saturday they were discussing it on BBC news and the 'experts' they had on were justifying it. One of them even said "it's something we all do" (at that point I had to hold the missus down as I thought she was going to attck the TV). They also said they needed a break etc, i'm sorry but I knew when I had kids that I wouldn't be able to do that type of thing on holiday. When they are older then fine, but not at three! The fact that there was a babysitting and creche service available just makes me more angry.
Whenever we go on holiday we let Amory run around but always within eyesight. I would never dream of leaving her alone I don't care how often we would check on her.
aksattee - May 11, 2007 03:10 PM (GMT)
Said the same thing to the Mrs. and she said they were checking on them every half hour. When on the news the layout of the place was shown I pointed out the distance involved she was shocked as she was thinking it was only few yards away. Like everyone here I really do hope for a Happy ending and hope people watching the trauma the family is going through and will understand how some simple action could have serious consequences.
On the same note when ours were similar age we made sure like Rich sid to eat early and then spend time in the apt. or the balcony drinking OJ's.
Rob - May 11, 2007 05:53 PM (GMT)
If that happened in the UK they could be prosecuted.
I feel sorry for the young girl not really for them.
Stubbsy - May 11, 2007 05:55 PM (GMT)
Whether it's right or wrong, this family has seemingly lost it's little girl - no excuses, no blame, it pales into insignificance.
Fitz - May 11, 2007 07:58 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Milgod @ May 11 2007, 04:04 PM) |
I was going to put a thread up about this today as well. Thought it would be best to leave it a week before I did. My heart goes out to the parents and I don't wish to imagine how they must feel right now. However, leaving a three year old alone with two younger children blows my mind. Even more than that though was the fact that last Saturday they were discussing it on BBC news and the 'experts' they had on were justifying it. One of them even said "it's something we all do" (at that point I had to hold the missus down as I thought she was going to attck the TV). They also said they needed a break etc, i'm sorry but I knew when I had kids that I wouldn't be able to do that type of thing on holiday. When they are older then fine, but not at three! The fact that there was a babysitting and creche service available just makes me more angry.
Whenever we go on holiday we let Amory run around but always within eyesight. I would never dream of leaving her alone I don't care how often we would check on her. |
Agree with every single word. You would wonder if it was a teen chavette would they have been treated so lightly? 2 professionals leave 3 kids that age in a room alone, while they go between 50 and 200 yards away (take your pick from the papers). Like Wicky furthest we ever went was a hotel lobby, preferably with the service where reception can listen on the phone and know where you are if you hear anything.
Wickywhite - May 11, 2007 09:08 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Stubbsy @ May 11 2007, 05:55 PM) |
| Whether it's right or wrong, this family has seemingly lost it's little girl - no excuses, no blame, it pales into insignificance. |
I don't think any of us are blaming them, and I'm damn sure they're doing enough of that themselves. I'm just struggling to understand why they would leave such young children on their own.
Something as simple as the twins waking up crying and Madeleine being unable to help them would have been distressing enough for all 3 of the children, especially having to wait up to half an hour for help. They couldn't possibly have known that this was going to happen to their child, after all, she was safely locked inside, but there are laws against this sort of thing for very good reason.
Stubbsy - May 11, 2007 09:55 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 10:08 PM) |
I don't think any of us are blaming them, and I'm damn sure they're doing enough of that themselves. I'm just struggling to understand why they would leave such young children on their own. Something as simple as the twins waking up crying and Madeleine being unable to help them would have been distressing enough for all 3 of the children, especially having to wait up to half an hour for help. They couldn't possibly have known that this was going to happen to their child, after all, she was safely locked inside, but there are laws against this sort of thing for very good reason. |
I agree with what you're saying, however i know what the parents must be going through, and it doesn't make any excuse of the fact that there daughter has gone.
At the end of the day, they should not in any way be blamed or accused, when some sick b*****d is walking the earth, with their child.
Wickywhite - May 11, 2007 10:21 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Stubbsy @ May 11 2007, 09:55 PM) |
| QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 10:08 PM) | I don't think any of us are blaming them, and I'm damn sure they're doing enough of that themselves. I'm just struggling to understand why they would leave such young children on their own. Something as simple as the twins waking up crying and Madeleine being unable to help them would have been distressing enough for all 3 of the children, especially having to wait up to half an hour for help. They couldn't possibly have known that this was going to happen to their child, after all, she was safely locked inside, but there are laws against this sort of thing for very good reason. |
I agree with what you're saying, however i know what the parents must be going through, and it doesn't make any excuse of the fact that there daughter has gone.
At the end of the day, they should not in any way be blamed or accused, when some sick b*****d is walking the earth, with their child.
|
Like none of us parents don't?
I know at first hand what this feels like as I had my daughter taken from me for several days. Fortunately I knew who had her and I got her back but it was a harrowing experience- no shit that my ex ever threw at me came close to the pain I felt then- and consequently I really feel for this couple. I have said many times that I don't blame them, I simply don't understand why they did what they did. It is precisely because sick bastards walk the earth that this becomes even more inexplicable.
Sav - May 11, 2007 10:23 PM (GMT)
it was the first thing i thought of when the story came out - i couldnt beleive that this had happened... but now its true, the focus is on finding the child, but indeed, i'm sure there are a few eyebrows raised at the situation. I'd certainly, like you Wicky, fear leaving my child in anyone elses care, let alone taken without my knowledge or permission!
Stubbsy - May 11, 2007 10:23 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 11:21 PM) |
| QUOTE (Stubbsy @ May 11 2007, 09:55 PM) | | QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 10:08 PM) | I don't think any of us are blaming them, and I'm damn sure they're doing enough of that themselves. I'm just struggling to understand why they would leave such young children on their own. Something as simple as the twins waking up crying and Madeleine being unable to help them would have been distressing enough for all 3 of the children, especially having to wait up to half an hour for help. They couldn't possibly have known that this was going to happen to their child, after all, she was safely locked inside, but there are laws against this sort of thing for very good reason. |
I agree with what you're saying, however i know what the parents must be going through, and it doesn't make any excuse of the fact that there daughter has gone.
At the end of the day, they should not in any way be blamed or accused, when some sick b*****d is walking the earth, with their child.
|
Like none of us parents don't? I know at first hand what this feels like as I had my daughter taken from me for several days. Fortunately I knew who had her and I got her back but it was a harrowing experience- no shit that my ex ever threw at me came close to the pain I felt then- and consequently I really feel for this couple. I have said many times that I don't blame them, I simply don't understand why they did what they did. It is precisely because sick bastards walk the earth that this becomes even more inexplicable.
|
Chill Winston.
wasn't saying you didn't, merely saying that i do.
Wickywhite - May 11, 2007 10:24 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Stubbsy @ May 11 2007, 10:23 PM) |
| QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 11:21 PM) | | QUOTE (Stubbsy @ May 11 2007, 09:55 PM) | | QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 10:08 PM) | I don't think any of us are blaming them, and I'm damn sure they're doing enough of that themselves. I'm just struggling to understand why they would leave such young children on their own. Something as simple as the twins waking up crying and Madeleine being unable to help them would have been distressing enough for all 3 of the children, especially having to wait up to half an hour for help. They couldn't possibly have known that this was going to happen to their child, after all, she was safely locked inside, but there are laws against this sort of thing for very good reason. |
I agree with what you're saying, however i know what the parents must be going through, and it doesn't make any excuse of the fact that there daughter has gone.
At the end of the day, they should not in any way be blamed or accused, when some sick b*****d is walking the earth, with their child.
|
Like none of us parents don't? I know at first hand what this feels like as I had my daughter taken from me for several days. Fortunately I knew who had her and I got her back but it was a harrowing experience- no shit that my ex ever threw at me came close to the pain I felt then- and consequently I really feel for this couple. I have said many times that I don't blame them, I simply don't understand why they did what they did. It is precisely because sick bastards walk the earth that this becomes even more inexplicable.
|
Chill Winston.
wasn't saying you didn't, merely saying that i do.
|
Chill!!!! Fuck you.
Stubbsy - May 11, 2007 10:37 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 11 2007, 11:24 PM) |
| Chill!!!! Fuck you. |
a reasoned argument :)
To add to the debate, a mate knows the person who owns the holiday company in which the family booked with. They specialise in safe holidays for families, where parents can leave their kids in such resorts, knowing they are safe and regularly checked on, they run similar hotels across the world. Personally i think such holidays should be stopped, here no-one was watching the children, at least a minder should have been. Families should not go on holiday and leave children with other people, particularly abroad (i can understand if it was a known babysitter or indeed a family friend) when you're entrusting foreign people - it must be a scary experience for any child. However the company have paid for all the family to be flown to the hotel to be with the parents of Maddy, a very nice gesture in my opinion.
Let's just hope she is found safe and well.
Wickywhite - May 12, 2007 06:06 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Stubbsy @ May 11 2007, 10:37 PM) |
a reasoned argument :)
To add to the debate, a mate knows the person who owns the holiday company in which the family booked with. They specialise in safe holidays for families, where parents can leave their kids in such resorts, knowing they are safe and regularly checked on, they run similar hotels across the world. Personally i think such holidays should be stopped, here no-one was watching the children, at least a minder should have been. Families should not go on holiday and leave children with other people, particularly abroad (i can understand if it was a known babysitter or indeed a family friend) when you're entrusting foreign people - it must be a scary experience for any child. However the company have paid for all the family to be flown to the hotel to be with the parents of Maddy, a very nice gesture in my opinion.
Let's just hope she is found safe and well. |
Not an argument at all Stubbsy. It was simply a comment said in frustration at your attempts to undermine the sympathy that everyone who has passed comment on this thread has shown the couple. No one has blamed them at all, we've all simply raised concern at why they chose to leave them alone in the first place.
If what you've posted about the operator they booked with is true, then I can kind of understand their complacency, but, like you said yourself, they could have taken up on the child minding services offered by the hotel. Personally I wouldn't leave my kids with anyone they weren't comfortable with, but I'd never leave them alone. Having children is a 24 hour a day 7 day a week responsibility, even if you're on holiday.
Like I said before, I sincerely hope that she is found safe and well, but given the time scale now, I have my doubts that she will.
Sadly it is Maddy's birthday today which will make it doubly painful for her relatives.
Rich - May 12, 2007 09:33 AM (GMT)
As I don't read the papers I don't know if they've asked why the kids were left yet. It won't take long for the sympathy to wear off and the daggers to come out though.
Stubbsy - May 12, 2007 11:12 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Wickywhite @ May 12 2007, 07:06 AM) |
| Not an argument at all Stubbsy. It was simply a comment said in frustration at your attempts to undermine the sympathy that everyone who has passed comment on this thread has shown the couple. |
I wasn't trying to undermine anyone else, i simply don't think there should be a discussion on such matters (right or wrong) until Maddy is found, or at least until the case is closed. I'm pleased to see that the media has kept away from this angle somewhat and has concentrated on putting the emphasis on finding Maddy, and that was what i was saying in my original post.
Dee - May 14, 2007 12:29 PM (GMT)
Was away when this happened so only just read this thread, and there is so much to say about what went on.
First off, i expressed amazement that they could leave three children of that age alone...and it didn't matter how close they were to the apartment, this was a foreign country. We holidayed in Majorca when my son was coming up to 3 and he went everywhere with us. A couple we befriended decided they'd leave their two kids (a boy my lad's age and a girl a couple of years older) in their room whilst they sat drinking by the pool...they could see the balcony from the poolside...and they would check on them every 15 mins. 15 mins became 20, then 30 then an hour, as they had more and more to drink and got chatting...even though they could see the balcony, there was nothing to stop someone going in through the door.
They kept saying to us night after night, why didn't we do that, and we said that wherever we went he did, we took blankets and a pillow and laid him down in his pushchair and he'd happily go off to sleep, and the important thing is, we knew he was safe, and we could relax in that knowledge.
The other point is that I, like WW, have had experience of having my child abducted. He was just coming up 8. He was riding his bike outside the front of our newsagents shop as i was pulling the shutters down ready to lock up...i told him to ride his bike round the corner and through the archway to our back yard...a matter of 15 yards...whilst i locked the front door shutter, and went out of the back yard to meet him at the arch way...must have taken me 2-3 minutes...but when i got there he'd gone. Seems someone had been watching him do this every night. We were lucky he was found safe and well a few hours later.
My point here is that there are two sides to every story..we can try and keep our kids as safe and close to us as possible to keep them from harm, or we can relax our guard a little...if there is someone out there wanting to adbuct or harm them, they'll find a way.
My thoughts are with the twins, and Madeline if she's found...they'll be having nightmares already, and if anything like my son, was still having nightmares on and off 4 years later. The parents however, will be unlikely to let the kids out of their sight again, which will have an adverse effect on them growing up too.
Its a very sad tale and i hope she's found safe and well. However look back at the Ben Needham abduction some 14 (?) or so years back on Kos...he has never been found, it must be heartbreaking.
Ray Hankin's shorts - May 18, 2007 08:02 AM (GMT)
I don't have any kids so can't pretend to know how this family is feeling.
I do know that hindsight is a wonderful thing though.
Fitz - May 18, 2007 10:25 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Ray Hankin's shorts @ May 18 2007, 09:02 AM) |
I don't have any kids so can't pretend to know how this family is feeling.
I do know that hindsight is a wonderful thing though. |
When you have Kids Paul, foresight is the all important one.
Ray Hankin's shorts - May 18, 2007 01:01 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Fitz @ May 18 2007, 11:25 AM) |
| QUOTE (Ray Hankin's shorts @ May 18 2007, 09:02 AM) | I don't have any kids so can't pretend to know how this family is feeling.
I do know that hindsight is a wonderful thing though. |
When you have Kids Paul, foresight is the all important one.
|
I take your point fella - FMEA everything.
Unfortunately people are not John Eales and do make mistakes. Having other people lecture them about those mistakes after the event doesn't help.
Sir Quej Of Quejdom - June 12, 2007 02:07 PM (GMT)
I have lots of sympathy for the little girl and really hope that where ever she is, she is safe and well. The other does not bear thinking about.
As for the parents...... They should be strung up. At the very least, they should be charged with reckless endangerment of all three of their children and the two twins should be put on a "at risk" register and they should be visited by social services on a regular basis. If this had been a young couple living on a council estate, they would have been crucified in the press as unfit parents, and rightly so, but why is it not mentioned when they are well to do, so called "Responsible" professional people. It is made even worse by the fact that the holiday company offered a babysitting service. I am a dad of two and would not dream of leaving them alone like they did. The parent of little Maddy are idiots and dont deserve anyones sympathy in my book. The suffering that they are going through is down to their own negligence and I'm afraid they have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
Milgod - September 6, 2007 01:09 PM (GMT)
It looks like the police are to re-interview the mother as a witness not a suspect. I'm still waiting for the charges of neglect or something like that to be brought.
Rich - September 6, 2007 01:19 PM (GMT)
It sounds like the ploice are trying to drive the McCann's out of Portugal as they've been bad for business.
Eastyorkswhite - September 6, 2007 05:42 PM (GMT)
I never ever left shaun alone when i was abroad he either went out with us or we stayed in .I find it hard to comprehend why parents would go out even a short distance away and leave their children,Ihope they find her for her parents sake because the rest of their life will be spent thinking what if....
aksattee - September 7, 2007 08:38 AM (GMT)
Well the new Twist is that after 11 hour interview, the Mother is now formally be declared a Suspct.
From the BBC
Fitz - September 7, 2007 11:51 AM (GMT)
Being suggested now that the mother will be charged with murder. Sounds like they are trying to smoke someone out. They are apprently saying that the little one's blood has been found in the car that was hired by the McCanns 25 days after the disappearance.
cuppy - September 7, 2007 03:52 PM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Fitz @ Sep 7 2007, 12:51 PM) |
| Being suggested now that the mother will be charged with murder. Sounds like they are trying to smoke someone out. They are apprently saying that the little one's blood has been found in the car that was hired by the McCanns 25 days after the disappearance. |
This is where it gets truly horrible.....I sure hope they have some pretty conclusive evidence cos to be accused of your childs murder when you are innocent must be unbearable to suffer whilst you are still grieving.
Fitz - September 7, 2007 04:57 PM (GMT)
Accidental death rather than murder, apparently.
Wickywhite - September 12, 2007 11:34 AM (GMT)
| QUOTE (Sir Quej Of Quejdom @ Jun 12 2007, 02:07 PM) |
I have lots of sympathy for the little girl and really hope that where ever she is, she is safe and well. The other does not bear thinking about.
As for the parents...... They should be strung up. At the very least, they should be charged with reckless endangerment of all three of their children and the two twins should be put on a "at risk" register and they should be visited by social services on a regular basis. If this had been a young couple living on a council estate, they would have been crucified in the press as unfit parents, and rightly so, but why is it not mentioned when they are well to do, so called "Responsible" professional people. It is made even worse by the fact that the holiday company offered a babysitting service. I am a dad of two and would not dream of leaving them alone like they did. The parent of little Maddy are idiots and dont deserve anyones sympathy in my book. The suffering that they are going through is down to their own negligence and I'm afraid they have to live with that for the rest of their lives. |
I was pleased to hear that social services have been meeeting with the police to discuss possible child protection issues re their twins. Regardless of whether they had anything to do with their daughter's disappearance, what the hell were they doing leaving them alone EVERY night!
Sir Quej Of Quejdom - September 14, 2007 03:35 PM (GMT)
I'm not going to be popular for my views on this but, even if the parents did not "pull the trigger" so to speak, they are responsible for what has happened to Maddy. This whole sorry episode has come about because of their neglect of their parental duties.
Having said that, it is looking more and more likely that they may have been the ones that did it.
Glad I didn't donate any money to the help find Maddy fund. I'd hate to think that I had paid to provide potential child murderers with the best defence money can buy.