1. When and how were your eyes opened to become a Leeds fan?

2. Thinking back to your school days, what kind of pupil were you?


3. When was the last time you made a spectacle of yourself in public, be honest now?

4. Would you describe yourself as somebody who normally sees glasses half full or half empty?

5. Is it true that certain practices can make you blind?

6. What would be a perfect day for you?

7. We know you have a den out in Florida, what made you decide on the place and describe it for us.

8. Tell us the thing that you bought that has given you most pleasure, and the thing that you bought that you most regret.

9. You still pumping iron on a regular basis? Still getting the steroid induced rages?

10 . You are stranded on a desert island, you can take one record, one book, and one porno video, what would they be?

On the case......

Broke the bog? :lolanimate:

:lolanimate:

The guy just doesn't care where he does it!

1. When and how were your eyes opened to become a Leeds fan?

I think moving from Wakefield to Meanwood coincided with me starting Junior school at Bentley Lane and later Fir Tree in Alwoodley. All the lads in the playground were Leeds fans and we played footy with a tennis ball, jumpers for goal posts of course. That would have been around 1966/67 I guess and I remember Leeds making the FA Cup semi final against Chelsea. Even as a lad I was gutted that we robbed by the ref. KEN BURNS. Twat disallowed a Lorimer free kick which would have equalised because ‘Chelsea weren’t ready’.

I started pestering me Dad to take me to ER and he finally agreed. FA Cup 4th round against Nottingham Forest 17/2/68. Crowd was 51729 and it was an awesome experience. Leeds won 2-1 with Giles and Jones scoring. It was always a special treat for me to go to a game as we didn’t have a lot of money and my Dad was a Wednesday supporter. Last year of Junior school got moved darn sarf. Hated it at the time but still follow our beloved team.

2. Thinking back to your school days, what kind of pupil were you?

Well believe it or not I shit myself in class at Infants school Sandal Endowed in Wakefield. That must have set my life path. I was only five and tried to keep it quiet but the other kids complained about the smell and the school called my mum down.

As a student I was keen on the sciences but in English and French would play up. At secondary school we had to wear purple blazers which looked great with orange rimmed holes from the hydrochloric acid being chucked around during ‘stinks’ or Chemistry.

I was a good student in the subjects I enjoyed but did like mucking about too much. Even as a qualified Optician/Optometrist some of my family think I under achieved. Yes I did used to fart during prayers in Assembly and yes smoke behind the bike sheds.

3. When was the last time you made a spectacle of yourself in public, be honest now?

Well wasn’t really public but could have been if it had been put on You-tube. I bared my arse with just a Leeds scarf around my meat and two veg with the
Strains of ‘Marching on Together’ being played in the background. This was videoed on to a phone and sent to Col for my New Years message.

4. Would you describe yourself as somebody who normally sees glasses half full or half empty?

Very good question this one. I can very easily get frustrated in my life in many aspects so could be taken as a ’half empty’. However I do try and adjust my mindset to the positives and even the worst situations can have something good in them. So I see myself as the ’half empty’ type who often reminds himself that it is actually ’half full’ .Ha, chew on that Sigmund.

5. Is it true that certain practices can make you blind?

I suppose wanking is the obvious one as I do need glasses. Also ocular hypertension and heavy smoking increase the chances of a central retinal BV occlusion but that’s a bit boring innitt.

6. What would be a perfect day for you?

A few years ago I discovered a quiet town on the SW coast of Florida called Englewood. If you drive over the intra-coastal waterway you will come to Manasota Key and three glorious beaches, the best being Blind Pass.

My perfect day would be there, beachcombing for fossiled sharks teeth, I-pod on with my usual varied mixture of sounds. I would have fresh grouper for lunch at Sharkies beach bar and grill. The sunset would be/is amazing. In the evening (by some miracle as its 400 miles away), get down to the Hogs Breath Inn at Key West for icey cold Heinekens and Wild Turkey 101 shooters.

7. We know you have a den out in Florida, what made you decide on the place and describe it for us.

Bought a villa purely for investment in 2003 and did very well on it. Sold it, bought another and experienced a slump in the US market. I bought near Disney and the attractions for rental opportunities. The villa in Kissimmee rents very well but I would like out now, as property prices have fallen and being a US tax payer is a pain in the arse.

8. Tell us the thing that you bought that has given you most pleasure, and the thing that you bought that you most regret.

That I’ve bought? Damn I was going to put down my penis for both pleasure and regret…lol

My black Fender Strat has given me many years of pleasure, it’s the maple neck variety. I’ve just put a black pick guard on it and black nobs and switches. Going to order gold fittings to replace all the chrome and pimp it up big stylee.

I regret buying the second house in Florida but because of exchange rate differentials had to reinvest over there, or so I thought.


9. You still pumping iron on a regular basis? Still getting the steroid induced rages?

I love the gym its been part of what I do for long time now. I hurt my back in ’04 though and have a permanent niggle so I’m limited to what I can do. No squats or dead lifts but benching is fine and I can still knock out 150Kilos on a good day.

Known a few guys who have over done the roids. One lad I know, Ross, very strong but a bit thick told me he was weeing blood and his knackers had vanished. I said that was a bit worrying but he told me that it happened before, he came off the gear and his nadgers came back.

I’ve done a bit of gear but now now, bit long in the tooth. Also if you over do the artificial testosterone it can convert to estrogen and make grown men burst into tears for no particular reason and grow tits.

10 . You are stranded on a desert island, you can take one record, one book, and one porno video, what would they be?

Record: Steely Dan, Royal Scam probably. Larry Carlton at his prime I reckon. Try the guitar solo on Kid Charlemegne!

Book: Earthly Powers by Anthony Burgess.

Porn Video. Has to be ‘Shaving Ryan’s Privates’ just for the title.

11. Banjo String?

Well done, MDF. No broken banjo strings, but a shit story instead.......didn't expect that LOL.

Good answers to questions that took bloody ages, Musta, ya twat........MDF be so good as to correlate your thoughts now and pass the baton on to the next vict.....subject.

PM on the way to selected victim.

Im worried about answer 9, i have not done steroids...

Lots of LOL moments mate, cant believe a titter for, "ocular hypertension and heavy smoking increase the chances of a central retinal BV occlusion" .

some cracking answers there MDF, both serious and humourous.........though the fact you still knock out 150k a day made me wonder if i was reading the answer right

:lolanimate:

Quality replies there MDF... Im loving this insight into Rebels lives, its brilliant.

We await your questions for the next victim.. err.. candidate !

xx

Good answers mate.

Serious question, how good is your guitar playing?

Yeah sorry for the delay folks.
I've been up ter me arse in exams recently, lots of pretty, fit young women wanting to know what they can do to improve their grades.... you know how it is, girls.
Still, better late than never.
Some really terrific answers from MDF, well done mate and once again, sorry for the delay.
Interesting to see that we have similar tastes not only in beer, but in literature and music. Larry Carlton's solo on Kid Charlemagne has to be one of the all-time greats, for me only topped by Zappa and the solo on The Pretenders' Middle of the Road (check that mother out, MDF, awesome).

Only just read this thread.

Great answers MDF.

I get the impression that you wanted your new years message posted on youtube. I now know why you want your face pixalating next year.

Just got them both off Limewire. I've heard the Pretenders one before but didn't know it was your mate Zappa on lead. Great bit of guitar playing on both songs.

Thought you may prefer the Banjo?