I have just written to my mum and thought I would post some of it here to show those who are just about to come over or those newly arrived how the ups and downs are just NORMAL!!!! :D

I am sat here typing this at work as it is now only 15 days until you arrive. I am really excited and so looking forward to seeing you but also I am so anxious about you having to leave at the end of your holiday. I know that when we left the UK it was so very hard for all those we left behind as in a way it is very much like the grieving process as you all have had to go on with your lives without us being there and I bet that has been unbearable at times, where-as we on the other hand have begun a new adventure and a new life so for us there is no familiarity with places/people which we can remember as being/going with you all. There are no reference points here for us other than the ones we make alone as a family and therefore life here has been relatively easy and enjoyable and gives us what we wanted from moving here. However I cannot kid you that it has all been plain sailing because it hasn’t, there has been times when the kids were at school and Darren was at work where I felt so incredibly lonely and really wondered what the hell I had done to pick up my family and bring them 16000 miles across the world to begin a new life, who was I kidding? BUT the kids settled so well and Darren was enjoying his job so I soldiered on though it for their sakes after all I came here for them and for Darren really so I needed to try to make it work. It was winter here and coming from a winter in the UK to a winter here was very gloomy and very depressing and because we had very few friends and not much knowledge about what we could do I found it very hard and struggled at times. I was so scared of going back to that dark stage of my life which overtook me and ruled my life for 6 months that I decided the best way for me to embrace the Aussie life was to get out there and work and actually be me again doing what I do best because for me to be the best mum and wife I can I need to do things for me too.

The turning point in my life here was when I finally got the job I wanted, it isn’t by any means the job I would like to do but it is what I do best and that’s working with troubled kids. As I am now Team Leader and manage a staff team of 14 things are so very removed from my job back in the UK. There has been so much for me to get my head around just living in Oz then coupled with the difference in Laws surrounding the Kids and the very different styles of working I had to deal with a whole new work culture as it is so very different and very far behind here it is unbelievable!! So the future here looks bright now for me at last. I would never have had this opportunity in Bradford and know that as ambitious as I am I would have left NACRO and the YOT for something more and invariably that would have meant working outside of Bradford and in turn more travel and less time with the kids.

Life is very different but very much the same at times. You still have to do the everyday things like work and wash and cook/clean etc but the quality of our family time we have together is priceless. Like on Boxing Day we went as a family and spent the day on the beach, we have lots of family barbies and the kids have friends staying often and are often sleeping out. The food here is amazing and the kids taste in food has come a million miles from chicken nuggets and chips, in fact I cannot remember the last time they had nuggets or even chips for that matter. We had a Barbie last night and I made marinated chicken for Darren and the Kids and then we had potatoes with chili and garlic and veggies roasted in honey and soy marinade and the kids loved it. The range of fruit and veg is great and the kids and us are eating far healthier as I am cooking everything from scratch and have very little junk food in the house the kids still snack on frit and yogurts as normal but now eat dried fruit and nuts too!!! I on the other hand am still trying to loose the stone I put on while I was ill and still haven’t managed to loose it here yet as have been comfort eating when we first arrived so am now in the right frame of mind to get the weight off now!!.

The kids have well and truly embraced the aussie lifestyle and are both very tanned and Keiren has long curly hair and Ken’s has gone very blond they both look and now sound like little aussie’s!!!. Mine and Darren’s social life has gotten better with many invites to friends houses and friends coming to us for parties and barbies and we are going to invite a few of our aussie friends round the Saturday after you arrive so you can meet our close aussie friends then we will have a party later where you will meet all our other friends.

We have planned lots for us to do while you are here as I have most of the time off and Darren has a 11 days off so we are going to visit lots of places in the first week then in the second week when Darren is back at work and the kids at school we can chill by the pool or take a trip to the beach and spend some quality time together. We have had the SH*Ttiest Xmas and New Year and are so looking forward to seeing you. I think the Xmas holiday period has been awful for us because we knew it was going to be different but didn’t realize we would feel so SH*Tty about it and this has obviously rubbed off on the kids as they were pains over Xmas. New Year was horrid for me and I just wanted it to pass without recognition, in fact I went to bed at 10.30 and cried myself to sleep so when you rang I just couldn’t speak to you then as I was in a state myself. Things are better now it is over and we have your trip to look forward to.

Things will get better here and I know this first year is going to be the hardest but even through the SH*Ttiest of times I have never once wanted to come back. I have said it at times but deep down know that if I did that my kids would miss out on so much and this is for them and their future. They are 2 very different children to the 2 we brought over here. Keiren’s behaviour has improved immensely and he is such a pleasure to have (not saying he is an angel he does still have his moments!!). Kennadie is not the shy quiet little girl she exudes confidence and is at times damn right cocky to the point of being a little bitch!!!(wonder where she gets that from!!) but she is very self confident and has grown up immensely and when I look at how far they have come I couldn’t even contemplate removing them and turning their world upside down yet again. I asked them the other day if I got them a ticket would they return and they both said no they are very happy even though they do miss everyone and would love to just come back for a week or so they want to stay here, they are both happy in school and that’s a great achievement for Keiren. Both school reports had either excellent or satisfactory on them I have had nothing but praise for the kids and that’s why we have done this. Life is too short for “what if’s” and regrets and the world is such a huge place its such a shame not to show the children what’s on offer and not to restrict them to one country/city etc. I am not naive enough to believe this is where we will live for the rest of our lives after all we left the UK for here why stop at that? Australia has so much to offer and is in itself a vast multicultural society why restrict ourselves to Adelaide? We may in a few years decide to move to another state to see what that has to offer, who knows? After all we decided to come here and made it happen why not try something else? However we may decide not to move else where who knows we may decide this is it for us, you never know. I think the fact that is it so removed form the UK and Adelaide is very backward and not at all “with it” like the UK or other further developed countries but I like the laid backness of Adelaide, the fact that we have all the city has to offer without the fastness and brashness that often comes alongside big city life, we have beaches that are glorious within 20 mins, we have the magnificent hills and copious amounts of wineries right on our doorstep and the fact that Adelaide is so family friendly is the magical part. Please don’t think it is all roses though cos if it was I wouldn’t have to work in this field, there is crime and graffiti and drug problems and race issues however these are few and far between and on the scale of Bradford I have to say probably ¼ here in the whole State of SA!!!!!

Well that’s all for now and thought I’d just give you an update before you arrive in 2 weeks.
Love you so much and can’t wait to see you.
Love always
Your darling daughter
Candice
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Sorry Candice got as far as you saying goodbye and burst into tears, wish my mum was able to come out to see me and see how happy I am in my new life here.....goodonya hope you both have a fantastic time ;)

Sasha :)

Sad to hear you had such a cr*p Christmas and New Year Candice, but maybe things will be looking up now? Hope so!

Also wish I could pour out my heart to my mum like that, but much as we get on well enough we've never been that close :(

That's lovely Candice!

I'm sorry you had such a bad New Year after your horrible Christmas.

I hope you have a fantastic time with your Mum whilst she's over.

{{Hugs}}

Nikki
xx

Yea Candice , that brought a tear to my eyes too, hope you enjoy the time you have with your mum, just look forward to her holiday, I think the first year is the worst , but your young you have your family and LIFE IS GOOD

Lots of love to you, have a great time

Sheila

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mailed you hun.
tan.xxx

Candice

I know exactly how you are feeling - my in-laws (who I get on really well with) are arriving in 3 1/2 weeks and we are so excited.

Christmas and New Year wasn't so bad for us as all the way through, we knew the real thing we were looking forward to was having some family to visit.

Can't imagine how we will feel when they leave but like your family, we have settled into life here and feel that there really isn't any going back.

(It helps that my in-laws are using their trip as a reccie and if all goes to plan they will be applying for visas when they return to England - God I hope they like Adelaide)!

Andrea

Just left my best frieds at the airport today...feeling very emotional at the moment will i ever get over leaving my family & friends or find another way of coping???

Hey C

I'm sure it will only get better for you every christmas from now on, from my own experience if you have hit the lowesst you can go there is only one other way to go & that is up...

Tkae it easy

Jen.x

Thanks guys but the reason for me posting this was not to get any sympathy from people but to show others how much of an emotional rollercoaster this whole emigration thing is and it really only begins once you get here, the time spent getting the visa is stressful but no where near as emotional as the actual emigration itself.

I wanted to show others that even the most positive people who are so very determined to make this work, have ups and downs and that it is ok to feel like this and that this is actually a normal thing to go through to actually get trhough it all aand be able to fully settle.

Thanks for all the thoughts but really I am fine :D

Totally agree with you Candice I have mentioned before now that I have struggled at times but over all I still love it here and it's the best thing I've done. It is good to read how different people cope with the move and how you come through any turmoil. It must be harder on you leaving your family especially your mum behind but at the same time exciting that she is coming out to visit you and see how you are getting on.

My kids feel the same way yours do and the difference in them is quite amazing so when you do sit back and think what reasons you did this for and for us anyway it was mainly for the kids we know it was the best move ever just that for us adults it is a stuggle every now and then.

Good honest post as ever Candice like I said before hope you and your mum have the most fantastic time together ;)

Sasha :)

Thanks for such an honest post candice.

When you mentioned the dark times that you went through, well i've been through afew of those here in the uk and i'll probably struggle in Oz as i'm really close to my family but as you mentioned, the world is a big place and we want to get out there and see what it has to offer and at the end of the day, we've made the decision to go so what have we got to lose. I am quite an emotional person though so i'll probably have a break down or two along the way but in for a penny and all that :loopy:

I've already got loads of my family asking which two weeks would be best for them to come over and visit so its makes us feel better knowing that we will have something to look forward to.

Emotions, who'd have em :crying:

babs

Great post Candice. It truly sums up the emotional turmoil we have to go through. I still have my down times and I've been here nearly 4 years. Sorry to hear that your Christmas and New Year was cr@p - you should have come along to the St Francis Winery for NYE, I thought I was going to be sitting all on my own billy no mates but when I arrived there was quite a few people socialising from Jon's work there so I sat with them. Not so billy after all! I've found making new friends the hardest of all and I'm not the shy type either and I don't think I'm unlikeable either!

I've got Jon's family coming over in March - now that will be interesting! :loopy:

Enjoy your time with your Mum Candice, I'm sure they will love it and realise you have made the right decision to move here. :cool shake: