Hi

Just wanted to ask if anyone had moved to adelaide & found that it was not for them & also why it was not for them.

How long did it take to make the decision that it was not for them? I know i wont get hardley any replys for this as adelaide is such a beautifull place but still after 7 months i am having a hard time getting over missing the family & familiarity. We are jetting off to the UK in April to see everyone & to see how we feel.

Jenny

If you look at the moderators list there is one called Red Rach her and Daz moved back to the UK a while a go now and haven't looked back. They are glad they came out to Oz but have relaised there is too much back in the UK that they hold dear and made a brave decision to return.

The other ones to look out for are Kev and Deb, Sas and Brooky they are related but both sets of families moved back a few months ago.

If you find their names in the members lists you will be able to click on all their topics which explains their reasons.

Today is one of my bad days where I've been in tears and told hubbie I wish we never came here. Now it's a mixture of things that have made me feel like that -

a hubby hates his job

b we need some cash so hubby has to work

c a friend of mine is very very ill and only has weeks to live but only managed to talk to me for 10 minutes last night due to the amount of pain she is in so very very upset that I'm not there.

d It's my Dad's 60th this year and everyone is having a massive party except due to point b I can't go

e. Having to move rentals as the caravan is no good in the wet season here and the landlord (also my new boss) is tryign to sell the house and the real estate agents keep organising open houses - even tried for New Years Day!!!!!

So all in all just a few things that have mounted up that makes me wish I was still in the UK, unsettled, missing people, feeling as though I'm missing out on things, and basically just wishing I was closer to a few people.

I was chatting to someone on here about it this morning and we agreed we all get bad days but like I said to her we need the bad days to realise that the good days are so bloody good.

I know personally that the way I feel is just a temporary crappy sort of day thing and I know that I do love it here and even if I was back in the UK I would be wishing I was somewhere else as some problems just never leave you no matter where you go.....BUT if you feel so strongly then just see how you feel in April on your tour to the UK as you might surprise yourself or if not then at least you tried and can't say it wasn't an experience. I suppose sometimes some people need to go away or do something different to appreciate what they already had - there is no harm in realising that fact.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

Sasha :)

jenny

we arrived 1st of sept 2005 and are moving back to england april,currently pricing everything up
as we see it we gave up alot of people and have since realised they are not replaceable by nice views and warm weather
although i am finding it alot easier than my wife there is plenty i dont like but wouldnt want to upset the 'and lovin it gang'
i think plenty would like to move back but either wouldnt want to lose face or cannot afford to move back,although we have little money we rented our uk house so for us it is reasonably easy to return

all the best whatever you decide

we started off well, but have recently had problems with bad schools, bad neighbours and unemployment, which have made us think about moving on, maybe back to england.

I think we totted up recently and came to the conclusion that around a third of people go back.....many within 12 months.

It's not for everybody....as Mark says, nice views, etc does not bring loved ones or familiarity any closer. Starting again from scratch is also real hard, with no one to fall back on and no sense of "normality".

I've mentioned this before...but i think sometimes we enter a sort of "twilight zone".... we aren't who we were when we left........The experience changes us.....makes us a bit braver, more assertive, eager to try new stuff etc. We have no roots in Aus, and yet the roots we did have in the UK get kind of moved....or twisted. Kind of like a plant that has been taken out of it's pot and left to grow for a few weeks.........difficult to put back in the same pot.
We aren't the same anymore.
Some can find this hard when they return and they try to slot back in.....most do ok....... a few come back again

I think sometimes we do underestimate the unbelievably big thing that migration is..............changes us forever...wherever we choose to live.

Good luck to all of us



ps can you tell I've been drinking......apologies...hope it reads ok
:blink:

has any1 been here as litle as 7 weeks and realised that it could have been the worst move they have ever made?
got all sorted now kids going to good school (we think) renting big house
(bungalow)!
husband starts job on monday, got car, belongings arrived on the 5TH from england due to us after inspection.
but cant seem to want to settle to this way of life. the weather is great, but what is the point when u cant go out unless u love flies....! tried all repelants but think they get high on them.
we sold our house in uk and spent a fortune since arriving here re stocking our new home. which isnt finished yet but the thought of spending more money on furniture and then paying for it to be shipped back has stopped us.
we have read endless posts from people who constantly boost adelaide and give the new immagrants to be such a faulse oppinion of this place. yes it has great scenery and yes people r friendly but so has cornwall.
we are not finnished yet we r still going to give this place time and mayb we will come to accept this way of life but adbritts need to warn newbies what they r really facing and not the mary popins approach

Please don't be shy about discussing your feelings and reasons for wanting to go back. The site has seen more than a few of these posts in the past and it is incredibly helpful both for those still waiting to come, and for anyone here who is feeling the same but perhaps scared to say so, at least they can see they are not the only one who doesn't think Oz is paradise. And dare I say also helpful to the person making the post - you will receive plenty of support I can assure you.

We recently had to think long and hard about whether we would return to England at the end of our planned adventure, or whether we would stay here. It was only when we were sure we would return that both our kids got amazing school offers here which completely turned our plans around - at the cost of a very emotional couple of months as we were all very happy to go 'home'. At the end of the day we feel that for us, the scales are VERY finely balanced between the two places, there's good and bad in both, and if it comes to it we can live happily in either.

Absolutely Colinda!!!!

There are people who have stepped off the plane and hardly made a couple of weeks here!

Whereabouts are you living? Not sure what to suggest about flies, they are not a problem here in Marion apart from the odd one here or there. Perhaps you would like to spend some time here at our place, come over for coffee one day maybe and see whether it is any different from where you have rented.

I know what that knotted up feeling is that you just have a horrible feeling you've done something really wrong and it can be very difficult to pinpoint the particular issues that are causing that feeling. Are there other things that are bugging you or just don't seem right? It really does help to discuss, whether in public on here or in private with a couple of friends (I've got a good pair of ears!) and maybe you can find ways to improve on your initial impressions.

This is not a typical year for flies....they have been horrendous. It's due to the unusually wet weather apparently causing a plague of bush flies........which is now increasing the spider population....yay for the spiders....

AdBrits is everybody who is a member....and members opinions are highly valued....particularly in relation to staying/leaving...people's experiences etc
even if the experiences are not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious :D

hi elaine
we live in the newer part of noarlunga (river view)
we agree with yr post b4 about pros and cons, but still feel that there is a massive gap in our lives. we were not party animals, never had a great social life but had our own circle of friends and familiarty with our way of life.
we didnt have great expectations of this place we have friends in brisbane who wanted us to move there, but down to ad brits!!! got the impretion this was the best place to live but find it flat and lifeless.
mayb we need to look at other suburbs, but linda has her mind set on uk.....
time will tell!

:lol2:

Well as always I have to reply to a thread like this because its a subject which I can soooo relate too.

Jenny - I felt pretty crappy at about the 7 month mark, I felt just like you do now, and I think that a trip home might be what you need to sort out how you feel. At the end of the day you know what brought you out here and wether or not its worth fighting the feelings to stay out here.

Colinda - Good on ya for not giving up yet, its really important to keep thinking positive. I came out here with a very negative attitude and suffered for it, just lately I have tried to be more positive about being here and it has helped.

Sunshine.

P.S. There are posts on here that deal with the more negative / tough side of this whole process but I think they get buried pretty quickly!

Personally i think that you have to give it a good two years to decide what is the best thing to do.

Although it is easy for me to say sat here in the UK, my family and I have agreed what ever happens, we will stick it out for 2 years and see how we are then.

As we are do not hold really sociable lives and do not see the family that often, although we do stay in touch, we can comfortably say that we will be fine out in Oz as there are too many positives and not many negatives to look forward to.

Apart from the family thing, we will have no mortgage, Trish will not have to work, we will spend much more time together as a family, better weather, much more things to do rather than sit in every night watching TV...ete...etc

But hey, this is just our view and are going to grab the Aussie lifestyle with both hands!

Rob, Trish and Family

Colinda

As a newbie I find the less "Chim Chimery" posts more useful than the "superadeysfantasticukisatrocious" ones. You're right to say us newbies need a dose of reality. It's really easy to sit back here in the sub-zero temps to think of all the good reasons to go (or stay) and ignore or bottle up the negative ones. Those will just eat away at you.

We're trying to keep a track of all the pluses and minuses and keep an open mind.

I applaude your honesty and bravery to express your doubts. I'm in the first flush of emigration fever and I've still got mine.

Good Luck

Roy

... we would be more than happy to put some negatives over in FAQ if we get some good threads on the subject :rolleyes:

In fact I've just been looking over there to see if we've got any already and if you look at even the first few threads in there under the main Adelaide Living, you will find, ironically, some extremely positive posts from people who hadn't come here yet - who are on the list above of people who couldn't stand it here and have since both arrived and gone back....

Rob - you may find that Trish, especially if she is not working, will be most susceptible to feelings of homesickness and it is often the wife and mum in this position that is the catalyst of unhappiness that takes the family back. I've seen it happen that way with a few families on here.

I really hope you manage to make a go of it, but don't underestimate the emotional upheaval involved. You may be surprised by the emotions you find yourselves going through.

All the best to you and your family Rob, I hope your dreams really do come true - but it often pays to research worst outcomes and try and prepare yourself for the fact that life here is in many ways very similar to over there, but without the family and friends to support you that you are used to.

Have to say I was a very guilty person in the past almost disbelieiving when people said how down they get at times until we got here. Then I think there is different types of feeling down, I know today is a bad day for me but tomorrow will be different so I know over all we are in Oz for the long haul as deep down I know it was the best move we made yet some people can't seem to shake that feeling and I think it is important to recognise that fact.

We are all different and it won't suit everybody. What is ideal for me is a nightmare for you etc etc it's not about rose tinted glasses or the grass is greener etc etc it is about you personally and how you personally deal with this massive upheaval.

I was the same re family, mortgage etc etc and family isn't such a huge issue with me now although I am gutted on missing out on my Dad's 60th this year :( it is the fact that times when things seem hard or you have to put an effort into it then you look back on that comfy life in the UK and think what the hell have we done???? We would of only had a couple of years left on our mortgage - now we may have to get a mortgage once we settle down, hubby happy in a good job at last just literally months before we left - now he feels he has gone back in years when he should be starting to look at calming down his work comittments, time together as a family has gone out the window as Roy has to work loads of overtime etc etc etc now it all sounds good on paper but when it comes down to it it is hard at times but it is also very good at times.

This is just how I see things personally but I think I am a lot more understanding now we have been here and gone through the motions, maybe more so than others as we have been travelling around and not really having a place called home or maybe less as it feels as though we have been on one long holiday?????? who knows but one thing is for sure that Australia won't suit everyone no matter how many people think it is the best thing since sliced bread ;)

Sasha :)

good 4 u rob, thats what we thought " 2 years" yeah sound good.

we can live comfortably too, but u can only site see for so long b4 things look the same no mater where u go. good luck

we r in adelaide now, give us yr opinion when u r here. :blink:

cheers

col.

Hi Jenny,

Don't despair, I too felt like p**h all the way up to a couple of months ago. .....we have been here for 17 months :doh:

So in my humble opinion 7 months is far too early to throw in the rag....maybe even to go back for a visit :unsure:

It's all the small components that make up life that make it familiar and fulfilling.......... like knowing your way from A to B without having to refer to the map EVERY time
..........like seeing a familiar face or two whilst out shopping.........like knowing where the rubbish dump is.....like getting phone calls from friends rather than utility companies........like having visitors........like knowing how many sugars your visitor has in her tea and how many brothers and sisters she has :D .......... like having someone to hear some gossip about :lol: :ph43r:

Adelaidebrits can be your gateway to alot of this HONEST! Get your self along to a meet or three and even if you don't 'gel' wth someone you'll get to see that other people are feeling/felt all those same emotions that your having. So even if you go back home and have a cry whilst doing the housework at least you'll have something different to talk about with your partner rather than moaning when he returns :lol:

As for honesty in posts I think it's really easy to only see the good bits and dismiss the bad when your stepping WAY outside your comfort zone and emigrating.You don't want to entertain the idea that it may not be for you or plain horrible. I myself have many a time mentioned negatives including emotions, the look of the place etc... Adelaide definately wasn't love at first sight for me :( but it has rather grown on me and I can actually imagine calling it home now :D

Just remember that nothing has to be forever. You have had a wonderful opportunity that many can only dream of, if it doesn't work out for you just think of the story you can tell your Grandchildren.

Best Wishes whatever you decide.

Jan

We totally agree you can't make such life changing decisions so quickly - I'd say give it a couple of years.

What gets me though about those who can't settle in Adelaide....how about somewhere else??? Australia is such a big place after all.

I have to say Jan when I mentioned disbelieving people in the past I can remember you arriving there and all your negative feelings and thinking what on earth are you talking about thinking how grateful you should be for even being there when I so wanted to be in your place :rolleyes:

It would be interesting to read back some of those old threads now but it is also good that you feel that you have turned the corner sorry if I gave you a hard time back then.....I agree about having all those little things happen to make you feel as though you fit in as I think that is why I love it here as those things have started to happen to me and I have now had a few chats over coffees at MY table with new friends which I love :D one thing I can't get used to is recognising people's voices on the phone as they all sound the same!!!

Sasha :)

True but once you've seen one KMart you've seen them all :D

The weather is different and the scenery is different, I can't say people are different though as so far everyone is pretty much the same except now we are in a smaller place it has that more country village type feel to it which I like.

Everyone loves coming up to Queensland as it is meant to be so beautiful yet there are prices to pay here - Cyclones is a big one, stingers so you can't swim in the sea during the summer months, crocs in the sea or lakes or any water you come across, etc etc etc so there is always ups with downs but I still think it is worth while looking look at Tracey who moved to Brisbane and hasn't looked back since????

Sasha :)

Aren't there any other shops for you to go to then? :lol:

I suppose at the end of the day there are upsides and downsides to anywhere you live.

We just fancy a change. Do something different for a while.

Errrrmmmm did you miss the bit where I said I lived in the middle of nowhere???? :lol: It takes me 40 minutes to drive to KMart so that is like a real treat for me, plus Coles and Woolies are in the same place and if I've been really really good I buy myself a Macdonlads for lunch as that is the closest one to us. If I want to get normal everyday shopping I still have to drive 20 minutes to a local town although I have found a few good local sellers that you only find once you've been here a while...fab organic fruit and veg seller 20 minutes away from us ;)

Sasha :)

I told you before Shauna is more than welcome to come and stay with us and do somethign different ;)

Sasha :)

Excellent - so I'll be able to have some "Quality Time" then while I go off diving the Barrier Reef :clap:

Bully for you ROB MORTON JONES







:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Makes perfect sense Andy - and I reckon you're bang on the money with your post.

Desiree
(one of the ones who came back to Oz)
:D :D

Easy tiger ;) everyone is allowed to give their own opinions.

Sasha :)

OK guys,

Fred and I moved out here in 1990 I was 47 and Fred was 42, we came out here and Fred had a friend and I knew no one, we said we would give it 5yrs and give it a real go, well I cried everyday for 2yrs, well one morning I woke up and i thought hey I didn`t cry yesterday, that was the turning point,

I really wanted to go home I`d left my 3 kids 2 grandsons and I missed them terribly, I would have given anything just to get back to the UK to them. Well Im still here and wild horses wouldn`t get me back to the UK now, Im afraid Im very much in love with oz I love everything about it

I won`t knock the guys that want to go back, its not for everyone, but if you`ve given it your best shot, then at least you can say we gave it a go, and it took a lot of courage to come here, its the other side of the world, yea its only 24hrs away but its a Looooong way, please try using the telephone card which are cheap internet all these things, adbrits I know they can help too

Good Luck to all of you that are having a hard time

Sheila

We returned to the UK after being in Adelaide 7 months.

Funnily enough we were only discussing the pros and cons of the whole emigration thing last night!

We went to Australia for 'something better' and for us it just wasn't. No big deal!
We didn't feel there was any need to stay any longer, apart from the sunshine there was nothing else! (That's just OUR opinion)

We had a family discussion and the vote was to return. Since being back both my sons have expressed joy at being home, one even went onto say when he closes his eyes and thinks of his time in Australia nothing comes to mind! No great memories, but no regrets either.

There is no shame at all in saying, done that, came back wasn't for us. A lot of people admire the fact we give it a go, and we are glad we did it.

Anyone who is wondering should they stay or go, I say GOOD LUCK, go with your gut feeling, if you return SO WHAT, and if you stay....may you carryon loving the life you are living.

Bev :dance:

bev

well written,you could have written that for us
you came ,you didnt like,you returned ,no big deal
as we didnt run away from anything or put the v sign up to anyone when we left we can go back in april with our heads held high
i think the 2 year thing is fine if you are undecided about your future,but most people know pretty quickly if they want to be here or not
for us personally there is nowhere enough pluses to stay here and with the age of our children and their education we need to return quickly

Bev


Hope you and your family have a good life back in the Uk

All the best for the future

Sheila

Yea Sasha

Best of luck to you too Mark, you never know you may decide to return, who knows

Good luck to you and your family

Sheila

:D :D :D :D :D



all round

Sheila

Hi All

These are the posts I think those planning to leave get to see. I know for us its something we just have to try but I accept that it could go either way. We have not at any time run down the UK and would be happy to return if it doesn't work out. In any event even if we do 6 months it will be an experience and life is too short not to even try.

Please post the bad as well as the good it really does help.

Jo :D

Please keep posting the good and the bad. I too, remember those like, Jan, who posted in the past about feeling homesick. really pleased that you now feel you have turned a corner, Jan.

There is no shame in feeling homesick and I applaud anyone who posts their views. At least when it happens to me I will know the feelings are normal and hopefully I will get through. Note I say WHEN, I say that because if I don't it will be a bonus.

Please keep the good and bad coming. And my thoughts are with those of you who are feeling down. I truly hope that whether you decide to stay in Oz or come back to the UK I'm sure it will be the right thing for you and your family.

Kind Regards
Mandy :bouncy:

Yeah Australia IS a big place - and that's what makes it so hard to move again. It's just like emigrating all over again, just within the same country, and to do that when you are at a real low point with homesickness and missing family and friends probably isn't a good idea. I have considered moving a couple of times for various reasons, either back to the UK or within Australia.

My main reason for not moving anywhere away from Adelaide is my kids. They are of an age now where they have lives and families and ties in Adelaide, and I could not bear to leave them and not see them for long periods of time. Imagine this .... I have a very good friend in Coffs Harbor. She has 4 children - one in Adelaide, one in Broken Hill, one in Coffs, one in Caloundra (QLD) and a step son in the Blue Mountains. Because she was unable to settle, but stayed, her family is now all over the place and she rarely see them or her grandchildren. Once you have been here a while it becomes very difficult to move on because of the roots you put down, even if you don't feel emotionally attached to the place.

I was desperately homesick for eight years - to the point of severe depression - and only now almost 15 years later am I more or less out of it. I would have cut off my right arm to get back on a plane any given day in those first 8 years. Now having been back for a couple of visits I realise just how Australian I have become and know that I would not fit in back in Sussex. I have different values, new friends here, and a different outlook on life. I do however still get homesick and last week was a real low point in my life. I spent the best part of 4 days sobbing my heart out.

I personally believe some of the expectation problems are enhanced by those TV programs showing expats living in HUGE houses, with their brand new cars and boats, who spend all day in the malls spending huge amounts of money or lying around their inground pools, living a party lifestyle, having wonderful and numerous holidays and weekend breaks, and dissing the UK.

It's just not like that for 99% of people when they emigrate. Life is hard here, work is hard, and long hours. Each new day is just that - another day. You still have to get up, go to work, pay the bills, worry about the kids, cook the dinner and get some sleep. It just might be a bit warmer outside now and then!

I know we all miss our family and friends in the UK. Like Snappy I have had years when so much has happened back there it's been heartbreaking. In the first nine months I was in Oz my sister died, aged 44, my grandmother died, my nephew broke his back in a climbing accident, and my parents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary with all the family, but I wasn't there to support my family in the sad times and celebrate with them in the good times. In 2004 I had to make an emergency dash back with less than 24 hours notice because my dad was sick. He passed away before I got to Heathrow.

You have to build a virtual brick wall in your heart and mind when you emigrate. Sometimes things chip away at it and make holes and the emotions seep through, but the wall has to stay otherwise you end up a quivering wreck of an almost Aussie/displaced Pom who lives in one place and has left your soul in another.

It's hard.

Thanks guys for your different views.

I hope i do go back to england in april & cant wait to return, this is one of the reasons we have to do it.

Another reason for thinking about going back to the uk is that my family & i are sponserd by the company i work for ( i worked for this company in england too) they are not in a very good situation in australia at the moment & it could all go down the pan ( this was not mentioned to me before the move) so if that goes down the pan where does it leave my family? We will have to go back to the uk anyway as the company will not be able to sponser us anymore...Having known this before hand would i have moved???? Left 2 secure jobs, took my kids out of a school they loved, sold my house, said goodbye to all of my family.......I'M NOT TOO SURE..


We also said that we would give it 2 years...its not as black & white as that i have had friends tell me that it takes 5 years...i think it depends on the individual when you have a feeling you have a feeling...

I dont like to say this but i miss the weather in the uk too.. :68:

I missed the feeling of christmas, i miss having the radiators on on the cold nights, i miss eastenders, i miss little britain ( new episodes ) i miss uk tv... i miss having a front loader machine

Anyway moan over.... We are having a fantastic adventure here & have made loads of great friends if it happpens it happens but i feel that i need to try & take control of the situation... Maybe i would feel a little different if we had secure jobs....

Thanks once again for all of your constructive comments. :love29:

Jenny.x

Probably the most thought provoking post I have ever seen on here wizzywozza.

You have my admiration.

Best wishes

G