Well, as the title says we've been here 2 years today and it's been the most emotional, stressful and, at times, wonderful time of my life.

When we first arrived i spent many weeks thinking what the :sign53: have we done. For us the emotional rollercoater had only just started. In fact getting the visa (we came on a spouse visa - i was born here) and selling the house was the easy bit.

We chose Adelaide because I was born here and i have relatives here. But the main reason was because my nan was here. we knew that we wouldn't have very long with her as she was 91 when we arrived but we only ended up with 4 months with her and it completely broke my heart. My mum came for the funeral and saying goodbye again for the second time in only 4 months was almost too much to bear.

Then when things couldn't have got much worse, in November Roy's dad had a heartattack. Luckily he has made a full recovery but it just shook us to the core as he had seemed so very healthy.

And the icing on the cake was in February of 2005 my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. She fought as much as she was able but passed away last November. I returned for her funeral but leaving my dad and sister was the single worse thing i've ever had to do in my life.

So you would think that i would hate Adelaide? I don't. Not at all. We've seem to have settled and finally feel like we are putting down "roots" now that we've bought our own house.

But would we do it again? Roy and the kids would say a resounding yes. They love it here and wouldn't want to return to England for anything. I'm a different story. I honestly don't know if i would or not. Not, as I said because I don't like Adelaide or Australia or because I miss Eastenders or Marmite :rolleyes: but because I don't think I will ever get over the guilty of not being there for my mum when she needed me the most. :sigh: If I could seperate these feelings from our every day life, then as a family unit we are the happiest we've ever been but it's completely impossible to do that. Those feelings are with me every day and i probably, no i definately, didn't really contemplate just how something like this would effect me being so far away.

I also feel that I've found it hard to make friends. It's funny the things that you remember when you type away on here. About a year or so ago I was at a coffee morning with other members of AB and 3 of us where having a conversation about people we had met and making friends. One of the ladies said she hadn't yet met that friend that you could call up in an emergency "the one you could call at 3am and know they'd be there for you". The other lady with us said "you can always call on me" and i remember replying "there's a vast difference between someone saying you can and feeling that you really could". For me i still haven't found that person and when you're so far away from family etc those things are so much more important.

Thank you for reading the ramblings of a slightly deranged woman! :doh: I don't even know whether any of this makes any sense but I just needed to put how i was feeling into words.

Sally x

Brillant post

:D :D :D :D

I have pm you
Kerry

Sally that was both beautifully written, sad and inspiring all in one go.

Being at roughly the same stage of the 'journey' as you I can empathise with alot of what you say. You have been through so much and been so strong don't let your guilty feelings eat away at you. Your Mum knew that you had come to Australia for a chance to improve her grandchildrens opportunities in life. She came to visit you and saw for herself where you were living. You obviously had a great mother/daughter relationship? then she would have realised then the reasons why you couldn't be there. It's early days in the grieving process please don't be so harsh on yourself.

The friends thing is a toughy, friendships like that evolve over time. That special girly chum will come in time like everything else has :) I have two or three quite close friends now but would still be uncomfortable giving them a soggy shoulder in a low moment...so Rob still bears the brunt at those times. On the otherhand I would have no problem 'being there' if anyone of my friends needed me.

Thank-you for taking the time to write.....time flys so quickly. It doesn't seem that long ago since we first met in 'Fresh Choice' on our 4th day here and you had been here a 'heady' 10 weeks :lol:

Best Wishes, Jan x

Aww Sally you made me cry. I remember reading you post last year about your Mum & Roys Dad, you've had a rollercoaster 12 months & I'm sure that like the old saying 'time is a great healer'.

I also know where your coming from with regards to 'friends'. Thats the one thing that I really miss since coming here, having a good old natter with my best friend, she was always there for me.

Just want to send you a big (((((hug)))) & I'm sure that things in time will get better for you xxxx

P.S. Congrats on your first 2 years :sign60: :yeehah: :D

:happy03: Nice post Sally.
I know that you have been through some tough times over the last two years and as you say it has been an emotional rollercoaster. I hope sincerely that you catch a break from now on and can have a happy stress free time. :)
I dont see you very often , but have always thought of you as a friend. Hope you find that "best friend " soon

Julie xx

Was that one of mine Sally? :lol:

Seriously though, great post, I think its so important to keep these updates coming of how people feel at different stages of the journey.

Its a shame that you haven't found that "special" friend yet, but as others have said i'm sure yours is just around the corner :) . As i've said before, to me, your one of the "originals" as like Jan we are all at roughly the same stage in the journey.

Sally I think you have been incredibly brave throughout all of the set backs and trials you have had to face. I just know things will be up and up from here on in.

Sarah x

P.S. I'm always around if you have a problem, although at 3am i'm not sure how much help i'd be :lol:

You poor thing, not only have you had to deal with the "bereavement" of having left behind all your friends, family and everything that was familiar to you, you have also had to deal with real bereavement in this past year - I feel for you, I can't be easy at all. :( As Jan said, don't be too hard on yourself, it's such a terribly hard period you've just come through... :unsure:

I have to say regarding the friend thing, I haven't really made another "best" friend since I left South Africa in 1998. I don't know if that is something which is possible; it's so many years of shared history that go into building a really special friendship. Maybe in 10 years' time we'll all be laughing when we think back to this time and wondering why we ever thought we would never have a special friend again... ;)

Thanks for putting your thoughts down Sally, that's what this forum is after all really about for a lot of us... :D

Thank you all for your replies and to those who have sent me PM's.

I just wanted to clarify i few of the things i said. Was rather emotional yesterday! :rolleyes:

Firstly, we do have friends - we're not a norm and norma no -mates! :D But i feel that we have yet to find that really strong friendship. i suppose I miss the security of knowing that if we needed someone in the middle of the night - if, god forbid, something happened to me or Roy - that I had someone to call to take care of the kids. They are still too young to consider leaving them alone - Laura's only 12, Tom's 9 - but I wouldn't feel that I could call any of the people that i class as friends, even though I'm certain many of them would say I could, if you see what i mean.

And if I'm totally honesty i'm sure some of these feeling stem from a kind of jealousy. Almost everyone i know seems to have a friend that they see, talk too, on a fairly regular basis and i can go weeks without hearing from anyone apart from family. I feel that I'm really just on the perphery of lots of friendships and although I know that I have to do my bit too when you phone people or message people and feel that the conversation is strained you begin to wonder if maybe this person doesn't really want to be talking to you.

Maybe it's just me! :doh: :rolleyes:

Oh dear, have just read this back and rather emotional - again! :crying: :D

You can phone or txt me anytime, I can talk the hind legs of a donkey :D