Hi
I was speaking to some people yesterday and they had emmigrated to Melbourne in Australia.They only stayed for 8 months then returned to Uk.
I have also read a few threads on hear about people not staying long before returning home.
I would consider going on holiday for 6 months so coming back after 8 seems to be to quick.
It would be interesting to know if the people who come back in the first year have ever been to Australia before .Or if they have just gone on a whim.
The whole process of moving to another country is expensive and stressfull so i hope we will give it longer than six months.
Thoughts welcome.

I know a couple of people who have gone back to the UK even though they had previously visited Adelaide.

I'm sure everyone comes with the intention of giving it a couple of years but all I can say is you just don't know how you are going to deal with the whole emigration lark until you get here. It's so hard to think straight or listen to reason when you are so unhappy that all you want to do is "go home" and that's all you can think about day after day. You keep telling yourself that you've gone through such a lot to get here, uprooted everyone, spent a fortune in the process and you really should stick it out a bit longer than a few months or it will have all been for nothing. Some do just that but still end up going home, some (like myself) end up growing to like the place but some do end up going home after just a few months.

Personally I'm glad I stuck it out.


Jo

hmm, was going to write this on a seperate topic but may as well add it on here!
We have recently returned after 3 weeks in Adelaide on our validation trip, after spending 18 months on the whole paperchase and emotional rollercoaster. We were all up for emigrating, it all sounded so right for us as a family, better weather, better sporting facilities, good job, good wages, cheaper houses etc etc.
Well, Adelaide was lovely as a city, but we were expecting something with a small town feel + nice scenery etc etc and instead found road upon road of shops, car lots, and sex shops (what's all that about?! ;) ) The city centre is lovely, it felt a lot like some of the nicer parts of central London, and the area where we stayed in West Beach was great. However, the surrounding areas just seemed to be a bit ugly (please don't shoot me down, I'm only saying what our personal opinion is) with all the shops on every stretch of every major road, the oil refinery, and new houses seemingly built in the middle of what resembled a quarry! We drove and drove, and covered miles of housing and shopping districts while we were there, along with touring all the 'sights' of Mount Lofty, Cleland, Victor Harbor, Harndorf, Adelaide Zoo, Tandanya, the beaches, the hills, the north, the South, the Barossa Valley etc etc...a busy time! We got a good feel for the place, and lots of it was truly lovely! We went to the bank and spoke to the mortgage chap who told us how much we could borrow, and I went to work and was warmly welcomed. BUT.... when we came home and talked everything through we realised that we aren't 100% sure about making the move at the moment. It's a bloody long way, with a huge cost financially, just to realise that you don't feel it's right for you and your family. Now that we have validated, and have 5 years left on the visa we have decided to try to improve our financial position in this country, so that we are in a more comfortable position in Oz if we do go in the future. The stress of leaving family and friends can't be helped if you are worrying about the mortgage and bills, and don't have enough cash left for an emergency trip home if you need to go. Believe me the houses aren't as cheap as you think when you are looking on the websites!! The cost of living seems high (in our opinion - again don't shout at me), and our intention was to have a more comfortable life, with more family time...and realistically in our situation that just wouldn't happen at this moment in time.
We found the realisation that everything that we have worked towards for the last 18 months has come to nothing to be devastating, and actually went away for a week on our return to the UK to try to get our heads clear. It must be truly awful to move all that way and then turn around and come back to the UK again, :( .
Hopefully, we will go to Adelaide at some point in the future when it's right for all of us, but we aren't prepared to go at any cost.

Caroline :D

OMG Caroline. What can I say? I'm so sorry that things have turned out this way for you. However, at least you discovered this on your validation trip and not after selling up and shipping all your possessions.

I'm stunned.

Louise

yep, me too! :lol:

Never expected this to happen, our house sale fell through the week after we arrived home too, so maybe we are all on a huge downer, so to speak.
Ask me again in 6 months and we may have everything sorted, you never know, just like I said, at this moment in time, it's not the right time for us to go.

Caroline :D

Well I do hope you keep in touch with us all.

Louise

Hi Caroline
Really sorry to read your post mate, you were the last person I expected to have a negative approach about Adelaide. :doh: But as Louise has already mentioned its a good job you found out on your val/ reccie. So sorry its not worked out as planned
But hope your "quote".........Hopefully, we will go to Adelaide at some point in the future when it's right for all of us,
Will work out one day, and hope you stay in touch with us all ;)

Keith Sharon & Jade :D ;) :chuckle: :rolleyes:

We are also having second thoughts about migrating. If you would have given me that visa 12 months ago when we first applied then I would have gone like a shot but a lot changes in 12 months and at the moment it seems like we would be giving up a lot to go. We've never been to Australia and when we get our visa we will validate it and maybe consider it in the future but it isn't right for us now. We feel like our lives have been on hold for 12 months and it was starting to get on our nerves, every decision we made we had to consider if we were going to emigrate or not,half of me hopes that they refuse us and we can get on with it!!! 12 months ago our attitude was that if we don't like we'll just come back, but we realise now that it is not that simple when you are uprooting children etc. We are not giving up the dream but we just have to keep it real!!!

HI Caroline
So much of what you say is true - and it can be devastating to have those rose tinted specs forcibly removed, whether on validation or on arriving here for good. We all build up ideas in our mind, and finally we get to see how the real thing compares and if there's too much of a gulf between the two, maybe nothing can get you back on track.

Yes, Adelaide is one massive urban sprawl, suburb upon suburb blending one into the other for many a mile, and if you're used to England's many-centred approach with countryside in between then you will be shocked.

Neither is it a cheap place to live when you look at the cost of your weekly shopping. In my opinion the only thing that makes it cheaper to live here is being able to buy a house substantially outright with only a small mortgage. So don't expect great gains on the monetary side.

You do need to bear in mind though, that you have visited in winter, the three or four months of the year when you will see Adelaide at its chilliest and with least happening. Maybe you'd have formed a slightly different opinion if you'd seen the place in another season?

One way or another, you have a much better idea what to expect and you will be able to make much more informed decisions. Over the next many months, either you'll feel more contented with what you have, or that niggling little dream of Australia will resurface big time - GOOD LUCK with your decisions!

I think you've made a good decision. We validated with the intention of giving us the extra years to make our minds up. However we'd not been to Australia for a good while and the validation trip reminded us of what we'd started the process for in the first place.

I do agree with you about the visa application, it takes over your whole lives, all you do is eat, sleep and breathe Australia and it can be very wearing on your relationships and family.

I don't think you have a negative view at all, its how you see it and if its not right for you now, doesn't mean it won't be a few years down the line.

Don't be a what if person though. enjoy your life, whether it be the UK or Australia.

Best of luck

Jo

Excellent post Caroline. The grass isn't greener on the other side is it?!!

My Brother and sister-in-law recently announced they were going to emigrate to NZ. Don't think they've even thought it through properly so I suggested to come out for a 2 year trip first before deciding and NZ!! Why bother leaving the UK! It obviously isn't the weather!

Sometimes I wish I could just jack it all in and go back to the UK but I wouldn't be accomplishing anything. I'm pretty ill at the moment and I really want to be with my Mum but hopefully my Mum and Dad will be coming out in November to be with me for when I have another operation. :( and for Christmas :rolleyes:

Best of luck

Michelle

After a total of 18mths in oz on what seems to have been an emotional rollercoaster ride I am taking the experiences with me and returning home to the UK. Its been a great ride but the cost of living here is no cheaper than the uk and once the honeymoon period is over and you live on dollars and earn dollars life is the same. Good life experience tho

In a nutshell, Oz is nice. Not BETTER than the UK just.... DIFFERENT. ;)

Don't be devastated by it, Caroline. I tend to believe that there is a purpose in everything, and things that appear to be hopeless at the time, often end up being a strength in one way or another. (Although it CAN be very distressing at the time!) Some time ago you wrote about friends who had returned, and I wonder whether you already had doubts in your mind then, and the recce just confirmed that for you. It certainly seems like you are not ready to make the move, and at least now you have time to think on it some more, and make up your mind.

As Elaine said, you did come in our winter, and it is amazing at how different seasons can make you feel emotionally.

It is interesting what you write about the endless shops, sex shops etc. Did you maybe drive up and down South Road a lot? I live in the east, and it doesn't seem to me to be like that at all. The only 'sex shops' I notice are when I walk in Hindley Street, but if there are others around I don't even notice.

It must be a huge undertaking to leave everything you have known behind, and move to the other side of the world. I've never even considered it, but then I've never wanted to leave my home country as a place to live. (Although I LOVE to travel overseas, I always come back and think this is the best place for me to be.) But if you already have doubts, it could be very difficult, or, it could be, like others, that when you become comfortable with a place, and know where things are, and meet people here, then you actually grow to like it, but who knows?

I just hope that whatever you do, you are at peace with your decision.

Cheers,

Jen

First, brilliant post Caroline - it's so easy to get carried along by the momentum once you start on the migration path. Being able to stand back and look at what you've learnt objectively and then answer the the difficult questions honestly is something that many people find extremely difficult to do. I'm sure that after a while if you do decide to come out - you'll be doing it with your eyes wide open, for the right reasons and be far more likely to make a successful go of it as a result.

But to get back to the original post - I think it gets different people in different ways.

True, there are 'quitters', people who just give up without giving it a fair go, but I don't think that there are that many.

There are those who know, almost straight away, with absolute certainty that it isn't for them. Validation and recce trips, although useful are not the same as actually 'living it'

Then there are those who get hit really hard (and often unexpectedly) by homesickness.

There will, unfortunately, always be a few 'rose tinted tragics' who come with unreasonable expectations and discover the reality to be something else entirely.

There are even one or two who have been given bad advice. I always cringe here when someone who's having second thoughts is told "Come anyway - you'll always be asking 'what if?' questions if you don't"

Against these though are those who come out, battle through the homesickness, doubts and hard times and, after a year or two of nearly giving up, decide that they did make the right decision.

So, is it OK to chuck it all in after 4, 6 or 9 months? I don't think there's ever going to be a yes or no answer to that one - like so many of the difficult questions here - different answers for different people.

Perry

Hi Caroline.

All of your observations are quite right. Everyday Adelaide is not tourist brochure stuff.

I admire your decision. It must be a blow but I truely hope that whatever you decide turns out right for you.

Personally I had a tough time settling in but I'm glad we did it now. I suppose it depends on what kind of scenery and lifestyle you would have come from in the U.K as to your first impressions.

Jan

Jan

This happens because people think with their emotions and not their heads ...

Caroline, well done on you for not being shy to say what you really think - thank goodness for that :D

The funny thing is wherever you go in the world, you will hear the same stories about some person moving across the world, coming back again after only a few months, the grass not being greener etc. etc. It's just as funny how often those same people then re-emigrate again after a while, but one rarely hears about that... People are all different and will settle or not settle for different reasons. My own personal opinion is that people who can't handle at least some sort of suffering and hardship should not attempt this ... if you want things rosy all the time and think that being financially or materially better off is in some way one of the goals of emigration which leads to successful settlement, think again... ;)

But one thing is, you validated, make sure you come back before your visa runs out, but try Perth, Sydney where ever, you may like it better. Anyway what ever you choose HAVE A GOOD LIFE

Sheila

Thanks to everyone for not biting my head off! Also thanks to all those people who PM'd me saying that they felt the same way - at least we know we aren't on our own!

Caroline :D

Sorry to get off topic abit but have you thought about moving else where?. we have been in SA for 6 month and arent completly satisfied and are thinking of another state.

But back to topic.......we will stick it out always said going back is not an opition , we will make it work, its caused so much grief, cost alot of money, etc...etc....that we said if were to do this we would give it at least 2-3yrs, even then i believe we should say 5yrs to really become settled and have a life style that you can pretty much judge what it going to be like here.

Tan.x

[/QUOTE]
Sorry to get off topic abit but have you thought about moving else where?. we have been in SA for 6 month and arent completly satisfied and are thinking of another state.
[/QUOTE]

I suppose the visa type would determine whether you could move elsewhere.. or at the worst, stay here until your visa allows you to move on

I agree tho, we too arent too keen on staying here either & have visted interstate before and after coming here.. there are so many other places that offer more/ or different than Adelaide.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.. its refreshing to get an honest open minded post!

K :)

When we came back from reccie trip in March, I felt exactly the same as you. I was really disappointed with Adelaide.. found the urban sprawl ugly & too busy, the cbd very nice, housing estates etc ugly, all the places you visited very nice(but too far out to live) and I feel really harsh saying this, so am glad you felt the same. I almost felt as if i was going to have a nervous breakdown when i got home, as all my excitement of months before had been snuffed out. However, i'm still very tempted to give it a try even though if it fails, i'm sure it would be awful..suffering from home sickness, missing family, then returning to the uk to no jobs & a smaller house & a country that I'm sure is going downhill rapidly due to problems of joining the EU. If only we had a crystal ball. Maybe it would be easier if we had more money and had well paid careers, but i know we'd be the same financially in Adelaide as we are here - ok, but having to watch the pennies. No mortgage would be the big benefit, but then a possibly smaller salary may counteract that. Is it worth upheaving our whole life to end up the same as we are here but with no relatives, although better weather, but with yukky bugs!
I'd like to know what you and your husband do for a living. My husband is a pc hardware engineer and i am an accounts assistant. From looking around at jobs in Adelaide i think my skills are more sought after and we NOT could live on my salary!
None of this offends Adelaide residents, i hope. You are the lucky ones who can see the light!

....I'm not offended! I think this type of discussion is some of the most useful stuff that comes up on here for prospective migrants. It's great when there's a healthy discussion like this, where others' feelings are respected, which gives people the confidence to express their own opinions - especially if they are concerned about how these will be received.

People coming out here need to know what areas others have issues with, so they can decide whether they are likely to feel the same. It's good information, so keep it coming!

I've said many times before now that having lived here our intended 2 years, we were on the verge of returning to the uk when the kids got into fantastic schools here and we did a U turn in our plans. For us, the two countries are very evenly balanced and it only took one aspect to change our decision. We really could have been at the point of tossing a coin to decide whether to stay or go, otherwise!

I agree; it was a fantastic post! Really worth reading too, especially if you've not been over to Adelaide yet. :cool shake:

We've been here for eight months now. I was happy in Tonbridge, and I'm happy now.

We'd never been to Adelaide - didn't want to spend our limited funds on a pre-trip.That might sound amazingly short-sighted, but we felt that a holiday-recce wouldn't have offered enough time to understand what our day-to-day life would truly be like.

On first glance, I was disappointed that SA is such a sprawl, and there do seem to be a loads of car lots. That said, we are surrounded by countryside, beautiful sea and beaches within 10 minutes drive, and skies that seem to stretch much higher than the do in the UK (no, please don't ask me why, perhaps I am hallucinating! :blink: ). We've met lots of nice people, and feel at home. We still have a mortgage, everything does seem expensive, but we just about manage...although I do need to pull my finger out and get a job!

I suppose what I am trying to say is; the grass isn't greener, it's just grass! :loopy:

Hi...I know what you mean.

One of my customers, who has been in Adelaide for many years,told me that he recently went back to the UK after being away for about 30 years - and he said the main difference in his opinion was that he felt he could almost touch the sky in the UK - but here it seems miles away!

So No I don't think you are mad - I agree with you!

Ann

To Charlie - I can understand that talking to someone who came home so soon would give you concerns. But I suspect there is a large proportion of (fairly silent) people who are very happy and would never dream of coming back to UK. I'd say give it a go - but obviously it's good to get some opinions from those who weren't so positive about it.

To Caroline - really sorry to hear that you've decided not to go (for now). It was great meeting you in May and it's a shame that you didn't feel the same enthusiasm felt by others at the gathering - but I appreciate that you need to be totally happy with it before you comit yourselves. Good luck with whatever path life takes you.

And to eveyone else (particularly those who are perhaps unsure) can I just add a note of optimism. We've been, we loved it, didn't find anythink that we really didn't like, and can't wait to get back. We haven't lived there for longer than a month, so there's still loads more for us to discover about the true cost of living and lifestyle, but personally feel that the negatives are no worse than they are in the UK, and that there are more positives that we don't have in UK. So while I agree it's good for the negative things to come out and be discussed, lets remember to balance the books and remind ourselves that there are also lots of positives as well as negatives.

Perhaps someone will politely correct me on this, but I'd guess that a fairly large proportion of people who use this site are either planning to go, or are still finding their way. While I know there are regular posters who have been there a while, perhaps, once people have settled in and are happy, they post a little less, so there MAY (dont' shoot me here...) be a slight bias towards uncertain people and away from totally contented and happy immigrants on this forum. But, hey, that's just a (possibly half formed) opinion, probably waiting to be changed to a torrade of contradictions. ;)

Andy :chuckle:

I think you're pretty spot on there. Loadsa peeps in the UK on their way, a fair few who have recently arrived, a bunch of us 'oldies' who've been here a year or two or three - and a few lovely people who have been here 'forever' but seem to enjoy our company :lol:

It is as you say quite normal to 'lose' people once they have found their feet here in Oz and this type of forum is no longer of any real use to them. So yes the views you receive will tend to be skewed because of this.

the real problem with trying to gain an opinion after only a short period of time is that you cannot fully grasp the dynamics of the nation.
how it changes over time, what themes re-occur, what rarely occurs, where the nation is going, where society is going.
i'll admit that certain extrapolation is unsound, but sometimes get a very bad feeling here on the future of australia as a nation, worse than the uk even.

I agree with you Sean. I've had the benefit of 15+ years here and during the last ten or so the optimism of ordinary, working Australians has all but disappeared. It took me a while to catch on to it and see where this country is being taken to, but it does become obvious after a few years.

Even when we arrived here at the beginning of a substantial depression people still had that sense of optimism which has been eroded bit by bit in the last decade.

I know who I blame for it.

Who Wizzy? Genuinely don't know and interested.

Sue

just got to add to all the posts. there are people who come here and see all the suburban sprawl and all the car lots and sex shops and just feel right at home.
i am one of those people, although i lived in a quiet village, i can honestly say i came here and loved it right from the start, there have been no homesickness even when i have had bad news from the uk. I have loved my year here and plan on having many more enjoyable years.
I'm not knocking people who return back to the uk but i am just saying i love adelaide and love our decision to migrate here. we have time to be a family and a couple and have a good lifestyle with many friends who we have not known long but enjoy thier company. we have friends here, who we new in the uk, and they migrated 16 years ago, and that has helped us settle, but i can say we have done ok and love it in australia.

a contented sally

if you asked me i was say john howard and his cronies.
they take alot and give very little.

also there is alot of greed and ruthlessness here from the larger corporations, and for many people it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with the ever rising prices and costs.
wages for many remain pathetic, and if you dont like it that's too bad, they can always find someone else who is willing to spray internationally banned chemicals for $5 PH.

Spot on Sean!

This is interesting Sean,

When we came for our reccy in December, I read as many newspapers as I could and talked to as many people as I could to try to get some insight into those points you mentioned.
It is very difficult. I did find some things I wasnt too sure about, like Australias potential future aliance with China, and some of the attitudes to women, but I think on the whole it was balanced by what I did like and I still found people more upbeat and positive spirited than in the uk.
As people seem to have said before, there are the positives and negatives in all countries.
Its good to have recognised a few of the negatives before you come I think so as not to get a surprise!

Tash

:o

I have a SERIOUS concern about the future of the UK, so blimey, if you think OZ is worse then, well, oh dear! :(

I think I'll file that, for now, in my 'no better than UK, but no worse' section, and continue to focus on my 'better than UK (in my opinion)' section. :ph43r:

Will revise and change my mind dozens of times once there for some time, no doubt. ;)

Having read through the threads of this topic, I feel that many people only consider 'Adelaide' as an area to live. If people want to buy houses and have no mortgage or a very small one, why don't they consider moving well out of Adelaide? I have been here over two years now in the Mid north of the state and have a house fully paid for, a good circle of friends in the town and am beginning to be considered as a local. The bright lights of the city are only a couple of hours away. Small country towns are more close knit than the metropolitan areas.

Fortunately, I didn't experience homesickness but I agree with some of the earlier postings that people need to stay for a few years before returning. Having relatives visiting may prolong that feeling of despair as does constant phoning back to the UK. Perhaps I'm one of the lucky ones and don't need the support of friends or family back in the UK, I believe that we only get one shot at life and need to experience as much as possible. You can't live your life for others.

Obviously this was a good topic of conversation .I think some really good valued points have been left.
I think the only way we will know is to jump in.
We cannot wait to open the door and give it ago.
Thankyou for all the replys.

Dean

How right you are dumbblonde, I really don`t see the point in coming to Aus just to spend a few of months then return to what they came away from, I think you have to give it a fair chance, missing rellies etc, is not really it, I don`t think their heart was in it from the start, it takes real gits to give it a fair go

Ok
I`m ready for it

Sheila

What a discovery for you, it must be a really difficult time.... I know i will be ok when we eventually get to OZ because all my family are there and I miss them and the kids terribly..... but I do wonder about my Husband... I left it up to him to decide wether or not we emigrated... he loved it in Adelaide when we went... but I worry that he will miss his family as he is quite close to them... he says not but you never know until we get there.... So hopefully thsi is something that we will not have to deal with....

My advise is if you are having doubts don't go, I have always gone on gut feeling as to wether or not things are right, if your gut feeling is telling you to stay, then stay, maybe in the next couple of years things will be different.

Good luck in your difficult decision xxx