Couldn't believe this article when I saw it this morning :sign68:

This is one of the major reasons for moving to Adelaide. I would like my 3 year old to have a childhood and not grow up quicker than she has to.

Pre teen beauties??

Lea

I think it's very sad. It's bad enough that adults often feel that they have to go to such lengths to be accepted but quite frankly I find it quite upsetting that children are being encouraged to think this way. Surely parents should be telling their kids that beauty comes from within? It's hardly surprising though that kids think in that way, with the kind of television programs that are aimed at children and "fashion dolls" , fashion magazines etc. :sign68:

I know my 7 and 11 year old girls are still very much children and I will be encouaging them to stay as natural as possible for as long as possible. :)

Carol

:sign68: :sign68: :sign68:

Thank goodness i have boys !!! if i ever have a girl i am sure that she will end up hating me !!! i will NEVER let her get like that.

there is only room for 1 diva in my house !! :happy45: :happy45:

weez

:lol2:

I think that the Daily mail could have used some different outfits on there models to get the point across . Personally i didnt find anything wrong with the patterned smock tops and leggings that 3 of the models were wearing , our daughter wears such things now , as do most of her friends. A lot less revealing than a pair of shorts and vest , i.m.o.
BUT i do know what the article is getting at.
There was an article in the paper last week , a mum encouraging her daughter to be the next Jordan, 9 years old wearing playboy gear, full monty playboy bedroom , bleached hair , full face foundation and make up. The child didnt want ugly friends , the mother said people who disagreed with her were only jealous cos there kids were fat and ugly, what hope had the little girl got , growing up with a balanced attitude with her?

Our daughter is 11 in september and likes fashion , as do I , she likes to look nice , as do I , she takes care with her appearance , as do I, but again she dresses for her age.
She WOULD like to shave her legs , and complains that they are hairy , they are!! Unfortunatley.
More so than her twin brother and her 12 year old brother.
I wont let her though , I tell her that they are blond and if she shaves them , like I did , at around her age she will end up with really thick dark spikey ones!! So far its worked.

If "sexualised" clothes wernt sold in small sizes, we wouldnt have the problem.
I wont buy any thing too old for our daughter.

It IS difficult having daughters , this day and age , more so if you your self wear false tan , make -up , have manicures, regular hair cuts, and love buying clothes.
Its hard to explain why It's o.k for you to do it and not them, I'm sure it will get harder as our daughter gets older, for now she is very much a child.
She does wear make up , now and again , for parties and when her friends come round they do make overs, hair and nails , she knows how to put it on , shes watched me often enough!!

If I was a mum that turned up at the school gates , looking like id just got out of bed in nylon traccies and a baggy t. shirt ,hair unkempt, without my lippy, she'd probably be a lot less bothered about her own appearance.

Any one want to know what she's getting for her 11th Birthday?
(Shes got curling tongs and streightners already , by the way!!! Bad mother that i am.)
A doll , yep , and she would like money off her grandparents so she can buy a new pram .
By the way , will she be able to take the doll on the aeroplane with her when we come over, with the new restrictions, shed hate it if it had to go in the container !!
Bev :D

Could really get on my soapbox about this one ..... in fact I will!

TOTALLY agree that kids should be allowed to be kids, how they dress and how they act.

Having a 7 year old daughter I know how hard this is! There is already pier pressure on what to wear, what music to listen to etc.

My daughter never used to have any interest in clothes but all of a sudden wants to wear things that I belive are too old for her. And as someone has already said, if clothes weren't sold in small sizes none of us would be facing these problems. They are basically making adult clothes in kids sizes. There are things being sold in the shops that I wouldn't wear. I wonder if sometimes the parents are dressing the kids how they would like to dress but don't have the guts. I definitely think that off the shoulder tops and the like for young kids is sexualising them. I was in M&S a few years ago in the kids clothing section and heard a woman say to the assistant that it was like being in a paedaphile's paradise. If we let our young kids dress like teenagers now, what are they going to wear when they are teenagers. What's wrong with jeans and a t-shirt? Have to say that I like the fashion this Summer with cool baggy tops and leggins, completely harmless.

I feel the same way about high heeled shoes. What is the point in putting a 7 year old in heels that they can't walk in. Let them ruin their feet when they are older. I have come to the compromise with my daughter that she can wear them as play shoes around the house but not outside.

I am not sure that it is any better here though. My daughter was playing at a friends house recently and when I went to see what they were up to, they were listening to the song (don't know the title) that has the lyrics "this track's designed to make you cream", "shake your ass", "making love on the dance floor" etc. When I walked in they were both dancing and rubbing their hands over their bodies. I nearly had a fit. What's next, pole dancing? I know that they don't understand what the words mean but I don't want my daughter walking around in public singing these words!

Totally agree too about the kids television programmes. There doesn't seem to be anything on for kids between the ages of 5 and say 10. When they grow out of Dora the Explorer and the like, there is then a big jump to That's so Raven, Hannah Montanna etc. Although there's nothing really wrong with the programmes, I just think they are aimed at older kids.

Trouble is that if you do feel like this you also feel that perhaps people are considering you old fashioned, untrendy etc. Perhaps I am and sometimes I wonder whether I should give in and let her wear what she wants etc but then I remember my principles and that part of my job, as a parent, is to try to guide her and in some respects try to keep her safe.

Luckily my daughter does still like dressing up, playing with dolls etc so all is not yet lost. I did think it would be better here but actually wonder if it's worse. When I went back to the UK recently I met up with some of her old friends and it was interesting to see that they seemed a lot younger, not into fashionable clothes, pop music and just enjoyed playing and being kids.

I am sorry to rant on and on ..... and of course this is just my humble opinion!

Our 10 year old twins watch an aussie program on t.v. called mortified, that seams o.k. for there age group and it also gives them an idea about what Oz is going to be like too.
All based around friendships and school and family.


I totally agree,with the clothes thing as i said in my post, thongs (underwear for you ozzies) and padded bras :sign68: for 8 year olds.

When we were on our holls in Greece in May this year , you would have been shocked at the amount of little girls on the beach in thong bikinis, awful. It looked more pervy than them running round naked (as we used to do as kids, but ive never let mine do it ,sad isnt it, the perves were still around then , just not as publicised )Couldnt understand why a parent would buy them for their child.

Its up to a parent to advise and guide a child , its you that buys the clothes , if we didnt buy such clothes they wouldnt make them . There would be no point.

Its coming up to "new school shoes time" at our house, always a time of joy :ph43r: Our daughter can have what ever she wants
(arnt I nice?)
as long as its black, fits her well, and is from Clarkes or Hushpuppies, oh the joy , I cant wait, not!!
Bev :crying:

I was interested to read this as when I went back to the UK at Christmas I found completely the opposite: perhaps it's because my daughter is at that 'inbetween' age: most of my daughter's friends in the UK were far more interested in clothes shopping, hair styling etc than she and her aussie friends are - and I was shocked when a mother of a boy my son's age thought it was perfectly normal for a 10 year old boy to INSIST on his clothes being the 'right' label - some surfie stuff.

The 12/13 year old girls spent their weekends hanging round shopping centres, looking at clothes and shoes in the UK, whereas here, my daughter and most of her friends spend the time playing sport of some kind, or playing at friend's houses.

I still think kids here grow up a little slower and have less pressure - certainly the high school uniforms are incredibly old-fashioned, particularly it seems at private schools - perhaps the church influence? Having said that, I think my daughter looks and probably acts quite young for her age, so I guess it varies as much here as anywhere.

Sadly I think this is indicative of society as a whole. To many people money, looks/appearance and possessions are held in high esteem, over more mundane accomplishments and values such as education, honesty and compassion. Surely a society that values football players and musicians over doctors, nurses, paramedics or police officers, has got to be intrinsically wrong.

Ultimately it is parents’ responsibility to say no to their children and teach them that a person’s self worth should not be quantified by the clothes on their backs, the car that they drive or the house that they own. Unfortunately in today’s society of blame, many parents will not take that responsibility and blame schools, teachers, the government and quite simply anyone other than themselves. Many parents have really got the wrong end of the stick with the whole parenting concept. They don’t realise that the buck really does stop with them and quite often the kindest and most responsible answer to their child’s demands is NO.

By bringing our children to Australia we had hoped that we would be able to avoid some of this pressure. On the whole I think that we have been successful. The children we have encountered are still concerned about their appearance, but not in such a materialistic/designer-gear way. I also find that many of the teenagers much more altruistic than their Uk compatriots. My eldest’s netball team was without a coach this term, so one of the player’s elder brother’s girlfriend has offered to help out. When my youngest was doing Auskick all the older kids pitched in and helped to coach. I find the culture of volunteers, rather than the “what’s in it for me” mentality, refreshing. Just look at how many volunteers are in and out of schools, hospitals and care homes each day.

The newspaper article saddens me. Those girls will never know the fun of climbing trees, jumping creeks and riding your bike down the hill really really fast. My children, who are approaching a similar age as those in the article, spend their time playing in the garden with friends, going for walks, riding their bikes, at the beach or doing sport. That’s because we encourage them to, I love to see them flying down the garden on their skate boards getting dirty – that’s fun and that’s what childhood should be about.

Peer pressure and the society’s desire for perfection is hard enough on adults, without pressurising children to conform. Recently my eldest niece who goes to a very smart private school in Germany was told by the other girls in her class “quite frankly ***** you wouldn’t normally be our friend as your parents are not as rich as ours, but you are the prettiest girl in the class so it’s Ok this time”. The fact I found most disturbing was that my niece was grateful to them, the same child who had recently had a major tantrum in New York, as she didn’t like the clothes that her mother was buying for her! Compare that scenario to my eldest, who I collected from netball practice earlier this week; she is desperate for new trainers, as hers have just about given up the ghost. “Mum, Mum” she called to me, “please can I have trainers just like ***** and *****?” Designer?? No way, just your bog standard trainer from the local shop – with 60% off!! If I had turned around to her and said that no, we wouldn’t be buying her trainers from that particular shop, it really wouldn’t have mattered at all. She has friends at school who have had their hair dyed or streaks put in. When she mentioned it I told her that I thought that she was too young, she was quite happy to accept that as she understands that NO means “I love you, but as your parent I know that this is not the right choice for you at the moment”. As she grows up I am slowly letting her make more decisions for herself, but at a pace that is appropriate to her age and to the circumstances. I don’t always get it right, but I do try to be her parent, not her best friend or just a money pit.

Parenting is not about money, it’s about time and love and responsibility. Spending a lot of money on your child’s’ appearance does not necessarily make them happier, quite the opposite in fact, it can produce very insecure, and self obsessed young people. As responsible adults we are failing if we support and perpetuate this cruel approach to parenting.

Wow, I don’t think that I have ever written such a long post, but it something that I do feel very strongly about – my motto is let kids be kids.

Clare x

Great Post Clare!

I agree whole heartedly with all you say.

Thank-you for taking the time.

Jan

Great post Clare!

Lea

Clare - I too agree with everything you've said in your very sensible and honest post.
I too am appalled at the article.

For those who are in Oz, can you tell me if 'Bratz' dolls are available? My 5 year old is obsessed with them, mostly because many of her school chums have them, but I think they're the pits! Think Barbie's awful too but compared to Bratz (now re-named 'Slutz' in our household due to their obsession with mini skirts, make up that's surely been applied with a shovel, and attitude) looks pretty innocent despite the 'perfect' woman image. Is it just me who thinks they're horrid? I think my daughter is too young to play with these dolls, goodness there's enough time for her to become worried about her appearance without playing with these mini teenagers.
I am hopeful that Bratz have not yet made it to Adelaide, just to give me a break from saying no for awhile (in relation to that topic anyway :loopy:)..

Dette

Of course Bratz toys have made it to Adelaide.

Why on earth would you think that Australia is any different to any other capitalist society?


http://www.charactersntoons.com.au/product...bfbf9e210f72b1f

G

Well as some peeps reckon Adelaide is a bit behind the times with some things was hoping it was with this. Thought it was a long shot! I wonder if they're marketed as heavily in Oz? Sick to death of seeing the dolls and also Bratz birthday cakes, lunch boxes, t-shirts, trainers, etc, etc...oh well will have to keep up the "No' for now then.

Dette

Ok wrote this reply before clicking on your link G, oh dear...

I dont want to worry any one but this to me is very very dangerous.

Before my kids were born I worked as a nurse in the penal system, part of my responsibiltys involved working in the biggest rule 43 establishment in europe ie the biggest sex offender unit in europe.

I only worked with men and whilst I know women are involved in this activity I can only comment on the men I worked with.

To put it bluntly this type of article gives these men a green light. Most of the men I worked with over 5years would quite happily state that the children asked for what they got. They would have catalogs sent in and find them very usefull. We are definatly over sexualizing our chilldren and playing into the hands of these evil men and women.

Children should be children and the only way they can afford to be obssesed with beauty treatments is if we are prepared to pay for them. To be a good parent we have to learn to say NO.

These men and women are prepared to groom children for years. My children have lost out because of what I lernt at work. However if we continue to sexualize our children like this, sentences will become shorter than they already are ( they arnt long enough now).

If heaven forbid my children fall foul of one of these evil men I know I will not be responsible by over sexualizng my kids. Can the parents in this article say the same?

Hi Dette

I feel the same way about "Bratz" as you do and have also fought against letting my daughter have too much to do with them, alot of the girls in her class are into them (she is nearly 6 by the way).

But what I have found is the more I say no, the more obsessed she is becoming with everything Bratz even down to lollies with Bratz pictures on, so I am gradually letting her have say one movie and am allowing her nanna to buy her one of the dolls for her birthday, but I will continue to discourage her whenever I can.

And I might add before anybody takes this the wrong way and think I give in to my daughter that I would not cave so easily on other issues, but that the "Bratz" issue is one is which I can give a little in the hope she will then get fed up of them quicker and move on to something else.

Sarah

Sarah,
I shouldnt worry about "giving in" and buying your daughter a Bratz doll. I doubt very much it will turn her into a loose woman!!
Our daughter has never been into them or Barbie. Shes always been a bit of a tomboy as far as toys are concerned , probably with having 2 brothers.
Shes had various dolls that have sat gathering dust before being donated to various school functions.
Now aproaching her 11th birthday she wants a proper baby doll !!
Costs a fortune too!! Luckily I managed to get one from my fave shop T.K.Maxx a third of the normal retail price.
It doesnt talk burp wee or anything, just sits there looking like a cute toddler!
Am i worried that she actually wants a real baby? As a friend suggested?
No am I hell.
We all know our own children.
She just loves babies and toddlers, if theres one around it usually ends up on her hip.

While we are on the subject of the horrible tarty clothes that companies make for young children , and make up thats aimed at pre teen's,
(dont buy it! I dont! if no one did they wouldnt make it)
Just like all the junk food aimed at them as well.
While we are at it why dont we lobby the doll makers and get them to make only fat ugly trouser and polo neck wearing dolls , then we can all move out to the country,eat salad and grilled chicken, self school our kids, not have a T.V, wear cotton wool clothing then everyone will be all wrapped up and safe as houses !

We all know its wrong , i dont think this is a debate as such, if your a sensible parent .

In fact , now im half a bottle of red down,scratching my mosquito bitten legs doped up on anti histamine tablets, while were on the subject, why dress your child up as a drag queen , in an excuse as a mini ballroom dancer?
Personally I think that looks pervy too. All that make up , false tan , and slashed frocks!!
But thats acceptable......
Its on prime time T.V. Saturday night over here .
So as someone said earlier (with the child section of the catalogues ) the freaks can have a field day, just watching I.T.V.
Rambling on now , going into rant mode. So I will sign off,
Bev :happy45:

Bev you are SOOO OOOO funny !!!
BTW it was lovely to meet you yesterday.
Angela