Hey, I am sorry I dunno where to post storys so I'm just goona do it here. If you have stories that u wanna post u can do it here.

Ok, This is actally the essay that my teacher is sending off to the Commonwealth essay competion and I would like a verdict.

Here goes!

The Day I got on the Wrong Ferry

I will always remember the day I got on the wrong ferry… I was only 11 years old at the time. It was an overnight trip and my older sister and I were travelling to Venice to stay with our grandparents. We left at 9:00 at night from Ancona on Tuesday and were expected to arrive early the next morning. My mom seemed very worried, but we were only going away for a week. We went down to the harbour with our parents and said our goodbyes, then boarded the ferry.

It was about midnight and my sister and I were in the lounge playing a card game called Speed. We had been trying sleep for about an hour but had been unable to, so we had wondered into the lounge and bought some chocolate. There were quite a few other people in the lounge. Then we had sat down and started playing. I was winning when suddenly everything went dark. “Strange,” I said, “I thought ferries could not have power failures.” After about five minutes the intercom crackled.

The intercom buzzed again and then it sprang into life, “Welcome, to the ferry of death.” Across the room somebody muttered “Finally.”
“Finally what?” I thought. Soon I knew. Everybody else in the lounge were doing something strange with there faces. They seemed to be pulling their skin. Suddenly someone close to my sister and I pulled all their skin off! I managed to muffle a scream. Underneath their ‘skin’ was a semi-transparent figure. “Oh no,” I murmured as realization sank in. I looked around and sure enough, all the other passengers on the ferry were transparent. We were on a ferry filled with ghosts!

My sister and I stared at each other in terror. What were we going to do? We heard one of the ghosts say “Poor souls. I suppose one or two people will always get on the wrong ferry! I guess they will just have to join us!”
“It’s a pity,” said another “They look like such decent girls!”
I knew my sister was terrified but she bravely asked “Why are you all here?”
“Because,” said a middle-aged woman said, “This ferry was sunk by a horde of pirates a hundred and sixty seven long years ago and all of us were killed.”
“We go to Venice on this ferry every year to haunt the graves of the pirates that sank this ferry,” said a man.
“And every time we go this ferry sinks and kills us all over again.” another said. We knew we were in trouble but we didn’t know what to do about it. “Please,” I said “Please don’t sink this ferry.”
“I say we keep these ones alive!” said an old man,” Since, we have sunk a lot of other people.”
“Here, Here!” said a woman
“Yes, let’s keep them alive!” said a little girl. Before we knew it everyone was agreeing to not sink us! I couldn’t believe our luck!

“As long as you don’t tell anyone about us,” said a man. My sister and I nodded in unison. “Good,” said the same man. The rest of the journey was peaceful and we talked to the ghosts with no fear. All of the ghosts that we talked to seemed merry and cheerful. When we were nearing Venice all the ghosts oddly changed into ordinary people again! We never told anyone of our ghost friends but I always feel their presence near to me. I have always been a bit nervous of going on ferries since that day.
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Pls post replys!! U can critisise, I don't mind
oh and I am only 11 so this is not like a Agatha Crissty novel!

Agatha novel :P LOL .. I like your story huny, its really kewl ;) spooky but great! -x-

thanks!

oooh i loved it!!!! sooooo spooky!! :P It was awesome - you've got such a good imagination lol. No wonder your teacher sent it off!! Have you found out if you won?

((i am changing the fan-fic forum to include stories, so i'll move it into there :) ))

great you are a really good writer you should try writing more its really good
Hope you go well in the competition you'll certainly have me behind you

Thanks Everyone!
I am not sure what has happend exactlay.....
I think My teacher sent it off a while ago.
I will try to write another story, any ideas about what it can be about?

Thanks Everyone!
I am not sure what has happend exactlay.....
I think My teacher sent it off a while ago.
I will try to write another story, any ideas about what it can be about?