What has 2 legs and bleeds alot?


Half a cat :lol:


A penguin goes into a bar, and goes up to the counter. Her asks for a pint of larger, then sits at a table. When the owner brings it over to him, the penguin says "Thanx. Has my brother been in here yet?" And the owner says "Dunno... what does he look like?!"


:lol:


And:

One day, David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience, he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace. Victoria admiringly watches her husband. After a short time, David becomes a little casual and begins to lose his grip in the saddle. Paniking, he grabs the horse around the neck, shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shouts for someone to help her husband. By this time, David has slipped completley out of the saddle, and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse's neck. David decides that his best chance is the leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along, David's head bangs on the ground and he starts slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screaming for help. Hearing the screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out and unplugs the horse.


:lol: :lol: :lol: (It's one of those ones you sit on and put 20p in :lol: )

And:

What did the inflatable headmistress say to the inflatable boy who came to his inflatable school with a pin??

"You've let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down." :lol:

Ahem :P :innocent:

He he! They're dead good! Best jokes I've heardin ages. :P

I know :P

Nobody else has saw them tho :P

:banana: <<love this------- love the jokes!!! :D :12345: :blue:

They're good

Especially the Beckham one

I thought they were crap

haha! i love that horse joke! :lol:

I do believe i'll tell y'all a really stupid joke. *giggle*

A man walked into a bar.




OUCH! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Great....