:ph43r: thestarwarsfightstsy Kakyou teaches Naruto





Naruto: What’s this new teacher’s name?

Fuuma: I think it’s Kakyou or something like that.

Naruto: I bet he’s a real dull-witted ass?

Kakyou: Really I don’t think I’m that bad.

Naruto: Ah!! Well, I mean I was talking about someone else.

Kakyou: Don’t worry, my first teacher was a real pain in the ass too but hopefully you will all learn to like me and consider me a friend, not a teacher. Shall we begin?

Kakyou: Today’s lesson is on instant death techniques so you wants to try first?

Naruto: I will.

Kakyo: Ok, come here and try your technique out on me!!

Naruto: WHAT?! On you? But you’re the teacher, I might kill you.

Kakyou: That is the point of this exercise, now are you going to try or not Naruto?

Fuuma: Yeah Narurat, are you going to chicken out hahaha?

Naruto: No!!! Ok I’ll show you my killer technique.

Naruto: Spinning needle fist.

Splatter rip

Fuuma: Wow!!

Kakyou: You failed?

Naruto: What?! How? Why I hit you didn’t I?

Kakyou: Yes, but does anyone know why I failed Naruto?

Fuuma: Because he didn’t have the will to kill you.

Kakyou: Right you didn’t have the will to kill me, just because I’m your teacher? Plus you flinched at the last second and missed my heart. If I were your enemy, you and your whole party would be dead.

Hey, short and sweet, but i liked the overall tone of it. Would love to see it developed more and maybe some visuals?

Lame-u young, well i hope u are cuz thatz pretty bad.

shut up, D12, all u do is insult people! <_< :angry: :angry:

YEAH!!!!! oh my god, i sounded like one of those..........never mind.....:hypersugar:

Im only sayin the truth so he tries better, wat the #### i use to write sucked ass im only gettin better cuz i want to prove i can writer better, it sucked don't say itz good if it isn't.

It's called constructive criticism d12 tell him what's wrong with it and why, don't just tell him it's bad.

One there is no action at all...wtf? boring. Also The whoa and what how and stuff aint goin to help him if he wants to become a better writer, u have to use better words.

yeah...if ya say so...anyone can post what they like on here. no one has come on here to please you!!! :angry: <_<

^ listen insain lil hamster he wanted to kno wateveryone thought, i thought it sucked, so wat if somone thinks mine does thats fine.

You said anyone can post if that's what he thinks that's his decision it's called freedom of speach get used to it.

THANK U, jesus christ ppl don't understand

I agree with d12 though you need a bigger vocabulary other than that make it bigger and it'll be good.

its ok. but it could be better.

... .... I hate to ask, but... D12+cyth ... well are you... er... welll.........

it's okay. I have seven fanfiction stories and they're okay. to my opinion. But i posted them on fanfiction.net. I mean one of them on the site and got 172 reviews. That's not good. I saw one fanfiction with 9000 reviews or something like that.

i like it but it needs to be longer that might be one scene and it needs visuals (explain the what happening around the people...etc)

NO we aaint together, also like i said this needs alot of work.