Hey guys! My friend emailed this to me, and I thought it was really funny. I hope that nobody gets offended, I am not implying that Christianity isn't a good religion, I just think its funny when people fixate on one part of the bible (ie banning same sex marriage) and don't realize that the great thing about God is that he loves all people. Anyway here it is.

Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man and a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18: 22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25: 44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own
Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21: 7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1: 9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35: 2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. Lev. 21: 20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19: 27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11: 6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, as well, you have a direct line to God so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

*claps* Yay for ignorance! =)

lmao, good stuff... funny idea.

lmao :lol: dude that's hilarious

Did she really send that? XD

That's like the funniest thing I've read all day

No, no, my friend didn't make this letter, she just forwarded it to me. At least, I don't think she was the original author, I'll see her tonight and ask her about it then. I'm glad you guys like it, I especially like the part about smiting the nieghbors who don't appreciate the bull sacrifice smell :lol:

That is funny. That is also my joke of the day thanks.

damn thats funny!

Can I make a correction? :huh: In 6 that only applies to the 'seed' of Aaron , which means descendants of him.

Point noted, but how would you know if you are descended from Aaron, I mean that whole thing happened a long time ago afterall.

For the record, my friend didn't make this, it was just one of those forward things she thought I would enjoy, and I posted it here because I thought y'all would enjoy it as well. ^_^

ha-ha, we did!!!

yup yup!!!

Dunno....Just correcting so someone doesn't think they can't go near an alter.